My Birthday Wish

Here's the thing... I'm a pretty boring person, really.

I've not had any momentous tragedy take place in my life.  I've not been diagnosed with any diseases that House would be unable to diagnose.  I've not made any momentous discoveries or world-changing actions.  The hurdles in my life have been relatively short in stature and I've just chugged along.  And, my impact on the world around me has been the best I can do... but, it's not much.

I'm just a Community College Professor of Art History.  Zzzzzz....

I'm just a washed up elite amateur cyclist with a few amazing photos from Worlds in Richmond.  woo hoo.

I'm just a silly old lady with a wish for my 40th birthday (which is still a year away, mind you).

I want to meet U2.

That's right.  I said it.

Now, if I did have one of those issues in paragraph one, I could probably come up with a good reason for them to give me the time of day... kinda like these people... (good job, kids!!).

But, all I have is this:

When I was 10 years old, I *borrowed* my older sister's tape deck and music and stumbled upon The Joshua Tree for the first time.

My world was changed.  And, I mean that literally.

My eyes and my heart were opened to music and they've never been closed again.

The guitar and bass riffs of those songs still give me the chills, Bono's raspy lyrical genius has made most other music meaningless, Larry Mullen Jr.'s drumming is exquisite, and quotes from the Rattle and Hum film still find their way into my daily life.

The first time I scored tickets to a U2 concert, my heart raced for 5 minutes (I was 14).  And, that was just when I was on the phone with TicketMonster.

Yes, it was long enough ago that the InterWebs didn't even exist and tickets were scored by sleeping outside a ticket window all night or desperately hitting redial on the phone until you got through!!

The show itself was a glamorous display of campy satire and musical brilliance.

There have been distinctive highs in my love for this band - discovering the War and October albums for the first time, hearing "40" live, listening to U2 as the plane touched down in Shannon and pretty much non-stop for the entire 10 days that we drove around Ireland, and realizing 15 years later that "With or Without You" being my high school boyfriend and my "song" was really quite fitting.

And, despite my husband's disagreement on this one, I've always admired Bono's use of his visibility to try to make a difference in the world.

So, I've got about 385 days to figure out how to make my 40th birthday dream come true.

Any assistance that you folks out there can give would be great.

And... go!

Mindfulness

Mindfulness.

This is a topic that has been popping up in my life quite a bit lately.  At work, at home, as I shop for Christmas gifts for my family, as I re-evaluate my own life, and as I contemplate my next "moves."

But, what the hell is it? 

Mindfulness... you may hear this word more in certain circles than others.  I imagine a CEO of a Fortune 500 hears this quite a bit less often than an educator. 

And, what a shame. 

For, though many will deem "mindfulness" some hippy dippy liberal hogswash (and, maybe it is), I believe that it's a fundamental and significant aspect of the human condition that has - of late - been challenged, undercut, and generally deleted from daily practice on a somewhat global scale.

After all... there's nothing particularly mindful about shooting off "tweets" or Facebook posts at all hours of the day with whatever thought appears within your brain in response to every instantaneous external event. 

There's nothing particularly mindful about seeing your way as the only right way and everyone else as "wrong."

There's nothing particularly mindful about bullying those around you for the sake of seeing them squirm under uncomfortable conditions.

There's nothing particularly mindful about crashing your way through your life like a bull in a china shop with no regard for the china, the shop, or anyone else you may plow over on your way to whatever you believe is at the other end of your journey.

And, yet... that's where we seem to be as a culture.  Wandering around with a complete lack of mindfulness.

And, I am just as guilty of lacking mindfulness at various times in my life.

So, I've been working on it.

I've been spending a bit of time each day thinking about things that I'm thankful for, considering how I walk through my day - who I encounter, how I encounter them, missteps I've made, successes I've had, and what goals I want to see achieved.  And, when I consider each of those things, I'm trying to view the whole picture... see the periphery and the margins as well as the bulk of the central scene.  Trying to imagine the ripple effect of my decisions and how they impact others as they pulse outward from my central point of action.

This doesn't necessarily mean that I don't DO the thing I need/want to do.  It just means that I'm thinking beyond the immediate.  I'm considering the impact beyond the now, beyond the me, beyond the THIS... to the THAT.

And, it's damn hard.  But, I feel that just makes it all the more necessary. 

So, I'll continue to practice mindfulness in my own way... in the hopes that the ripple effect that I can achieve will be one in which my impact on others is positive, thoughtful, careful, and kind.