5 days later...

So, the surgery was last week.  It went well and I'm happy to say that I'm up and moving pretty decently and, as of today, I've taken a shower and decided that I no longer need the pain meds.  I'm still wearing my back brace and taking things as easy as I can, but I'm feeling good and definitely on the road to solid recovery.

There's still a bit of pain in my rump and leg on occasion, but I was told that this was expected and to give the nerves some time to relax and stop firing.  Even then, the pain that I feel there is minimal and occasional, so I'm sure that it will subside over time.

As for the surgery itself... Virtua in Mount Holly was great!  They took such awesome care of me and I'm so pleased with how everything went.  There were only a few bumps along the way - like when they tried to put the IV into the back of my hand.  That was a major no-go.  OUCH.  The bruise I'm now sporting there is my favorite shade of purple and covers the entire back of my hand.  It's pretty rad.

And, then there was the long drive home that culminated in my gastro-pyrotechnical display out the window.  Let me tell you... sedation meds plus a lot of stop and go rush hour traffic = NOTHING GOOD!!

Other than that, things have been going pretty well.  The first two days were pretty painful.  It was hard to get up from or down to a laying position.  But, today, I can pretty easily get up and down as I wish.

Taking a shower was a glorious thing.  It feels so good to have washed hair!  :)  And, if that's my biggest joy of the day today, I'll take it!

Thanks for all of the awesome messages and such!  I can't wait to be back at work, on the bike, and just out and about with all of you!

Twas the Night Before Surgery

Twas the night before surgery
and all through the place
Not a kitteh was stirring
while I stuffed my face

The appointment was set for 2 pm the next day
In the hopes that the pain will soon all go away...

Later on I'll be nestled all snug in my bed
While visions of long bike rides dance in my head.

The phone calls and texts have made me feel great
Amazing to have so much love on my plate

I'm excited and nervous and ready to rock
Can't wait to wake up from the ol' chopping block

For now I'll get ready for meal number three
And hope that tomorrow I don't have to pee

But for now I'll exclaim as I hydrate all night,
Thank you to all, it will all be all right!

7 days...

168 hours
10,080 minutes
604,800 seconds

Give or take a few hours. 

Bring it on.

While I'm excited about the surgery and getting to healing up, I'm even more excited about the fact that my sister, brother-in-law, and niece are going to be visiting for a few days before Christmas!

I'm very lucky in that my sister married a guy from the same basic area as the dear Mr. Porkchop.  It's a totally strange coincidence and the two of them met while they were in grad school in Utah.  But, it's an AWESOME coincidence, because it means that they come out here to visit his family and then we get to visit, too. 

They'll be spending a few days with us and I'm THRILLED about it!  I was just hoping for one day so that we could visit with the little munchkin and have Christmas.  Now, we're going to get 3 days with them!  Yippee skippy! 

So, between the surgery and their arrival, I've got about 5 days to recover.  Recover and plan some awesome meals!!  After all, family visits are all about eating, drinking, and playing cards, right?!?

You Can Love Your Pets...

Just don't LOVE your pets!!

It's true.  I married the crazy cat man.  Anyone who goes back to look at this blog will notice that over the past 14 years, we've slowly (sometimes not so slowly) accumulated a house full of little four legged furry faces.  We love these little dudes - even when they fight with one another, or puke in a shoe, or otherwise cause mild amounts of chaos.  They are our family.  When people look at me like I'm nuts over the fact that I don't have kids (normal sized human being children), I realize that they don't see these little balls of fluff as we do.  They ARE our kids.

To understand why people can throw away their animals (literally, in some cases) is an effort in futility for us.  Which is why we've been volunteering with the local shelter for the past few years.  In many ways, this further enhances our kitten hoarding instinct, as we sometimes foster pets.  One of those fosters never left our home and is now our youngest and sweetest and most adorably annoying Harvey. She's my absolute doll and I can't imagine not having her as part of the brood.  Most of the time, though... we foster for a couple of days or weeks and then send the little one off to a new family.

We've gotten better at just helping at the shelter and not bringing any home with us, Mom... just so you know!!

For Thanksgiving, we went over to help walk the dogs, play with the kittens and cats, and take some photos for an upcoming art project fundraiser that is in the works.

If you're looking for a new family member this holiday.  A little pup to keep your feet warm on chilly days, or a sweet chocolate-colored kitten to plop on your lap and purr to his little heart's content, here are a few kids looking for furever homes at the Almost Home Animal Shelter!

 This is Rex.  He is one of the sweetest boys you'll ever meet.  He's a strong boy, but he's an absolute lover.  He's got beautiful coloration, his brown coat is infused with gray brindling.  Very handsome.

These photos are of the puppy Clara!  She's a husky-shepherd mix who came into the shelter with her mom.  Her mom has already been adopted, but Clara is still waiting to go to her new home.  

Oh, Benji... This little Shiba Inu is a sweet guy.  And, he's inquisitive and fun-loving and a real foxy looker!

This is Noel.  She came in to the shelter with some pups.  Her puppies have all been adopted, and Noel is hoping that her holiday themed name will inspire someone to take her home with them this Christmas!

KITTENS!!  Who doesn't love kittens!  These little guys are part of a HUGE influx of kittens and cats at the shelter in the past few days due to hoarding situations and just the standard seasonal load of animals.  They are siamese breed mixes - as you can tell.   

This is one of two "office dogs" at the shelter.  Office dogs are typically those that need a little special attention while they're at the shelter.  In Allie's case, it's that she has alopecia!  This means, she has some trouble with hair loss and itching.  She's improved leaps and bounds since arriving at the shelter, and just needs a bit of extra care to keep her itching and hair loss under control.   

Mr. Booger...the other office dog came in to the shelter with a fractured leg and pelvis - very likely from being hit by a car.  He's an adorably scruffy little Shitzu mix with a very sweet disposition.  He loves to be scratched while sitting square between your feet.  With a little grooming and continued care, Booger will be up and running with the best of them!  

This is Crunch.  Crunchy is a very large lab/pit mix.  When I say large, I really do mean that he's a BIG guy.  But, if you have room in your heart, your house, and your yard for Crunchy, he's also got a big and wonderfully awesome personality!  He LOVES to jump - and boy, can he jump!  

This is Raven.  My best model for the day, Raven is a super sweet pit mix.  She's quite well trained and sits and stays (sorta!) on command.  She's a very smart and beautiful girl who would make a wonderful companion!  Plus, look at those EARS!!

These two sweet kittens are the most gorgeous chocolate colored kittens I've ever seen!!  The little girl up top is a beautiful chocolate tortoiseshell cat.  She's apparently got some siamese in her, she's very tall and thin with a pointed face.  Her coloration is stunning and she's a favorite around the shelter.  The boy in the bottom photo is entirely chocolate brown.  His fur feels like velvet and just to make sure that he's got a little extra something-something for all the folks looking for a beautiful and unique kitty, he's also polydactyl!  We tried to get a shot here of his extra toes, but it didn't work very well!  

So, this holiday, when your heart starts to whisper that it wants a little fuzzy companion to love and squeeze and dote on for the rest of that little pup or kitten's life, stop by Almost Home.  These animals need and want to be loved.  

This has been a public service announcement from The Porkchop household to yours!  

Happy Holidays!

Phew... a long weekend

So, the semester is nearing its conclusion.  I can tell.  My snark level is at an all time high.

Mind you, I'm not snarky with my classes or students.  At this time of the semester, I'm actually getting all misty eyed about our time together coming to an end.  I'm happy about the progress that I've seen in so many of them and getting excited by their own end of the year ennui.  Turns out, a lot of them actually think I'm not so awful!

But, with other things... I find myself stepping back from major snark attacks.  In fact, I just stepped back from my biggest snark attack of the day... a scathing blog post!  LOL!

Nope, not gonna do it.

Instead, I will listen to some Michael Jackson, moon walk across my office, and pack my stuff for a long weekend of food and fun!

Happy Thanksgiving, Folks!!

Change is Good?

I've been hearing an interesting response lately.  It's a response to the following acknowledgment and comes across as an odd mixture between a statement and a question.  The conversation generally goes something like this...

"So, I hear that you're going to be Department Chair in January."

"Yep."

"Congratulations...?"

There's always that little question mark at the end.  It's rather cute, and I totally understand where it's coming from.  But, yes, it's true.  I'm going to be Department Chair for the next two years.  I'm excited about it.  And nervous.  And excited.  But, mostly just anxious.  I want to do a good job.  I want to make the department proud.  I want to do right by my colleagues, by my institution, and by me.  It's important that I remain ME throughout this process.

I knew that this would come my way eventually.  After the completion of my degree and the current chair's embarkation upon his own PhD journey, I knew that it was time for him to step down.  I imagined that it was likely to be my turn to step up.

So, here we are.  At the start of the new year, I'll be moving to a new office, taking on a new set of responsibilities, and, hopefully, do the best job that I can do.

A Silent Film

No, not this type of silent film...

THIS type of A Silent Film.

On Friday evening, just prior to walking up to the show from a lovely dinner in Chinatown (to be further discussed at a later date, perhaps), I was informed that I was going to see a hipster band.  I was unsure how that was supposed to work.  Did that mean that I was a hipster and was unaware of the fact?  Did it mean I would be surrounded by hipsters at the show?  Did it mean that the members of the band were, in fact, hipsters themselves?  It was all very confusing.

Nonetheless, JeanneMarie and I went to the show and thoroughly enjoyed it!  The band was great.  They didn't play a very long set, and I left wishing that I had heard a few more of my favs, but all in all, it was a fine show for an up and coming band.

And, just to be clear, I did attempt to make judgments upon my fellow concert goers as to what social category they might best fit (hipster, Gen X'ers, punks, neo-punks, etc.) and I was again at a loss.  I wasn't able to count more tight pant wearing men than usual, there were the standard handful of post-middle-aged folks, and the two blondes who stood behind us screaming about new boots or something during the majority of the show.

So, I don't know... you tell me... am I an unconscious hipster?

And So It Goes...

T-minus 37 days and counting.

37 days.

That sounds like a long time. 

It's really not.

I know that it will be here before I know it.

What's in 37 days, you ask?  My surgery.

Yep, that's right.  Decision made.  I have tried everything possible to fix this issue in a way that gives me back my life - hell, I'd be willing to get back just a portion of it, if I thought a conservative method was going to work - but it's just not working.  I REFUSE to be on any kind of meds or painkillers, therapy isn't doing any real good, and the only thing that relieves the pain is if I sit around inactively for a few days.  Now, if my goal in life included never exercising another day in my life, I guess I'd be content to just let it go.

But, y'all know me way better than that. 

So, it's in the surgeon's hands.  I'm putting my faith in my future as an athlete and as a healthy woman in the capable hands of one of the regions best spinal surgeons.  I trust him.  Completely. 

I feel REALLY good about this decision.  Despite the few individuals who still feel the need to tell me horror stories about their experiences (or those of their wives, cousins, brothers, dogs, etc.), I KNOW that this is the right choice. 

So, for anyone tempted to inform me of the massive mistake I am making and scold me for being "so hasty" in considering this evil option.... just can it.  I'm not interested. 

If you want to talk to me about the situation and find out more about why I'm choosing this, let me know. 

A HUGE thank you to my amazing husband, family, and dear, dear friends who are standing by me in this.  I cannot say how important it is to know that there are so many people out there rooting for me and believing in this with me. 

37 days... 

...And counting.

Lateral Micro-Discectomy

That's what the surgery is called.

You're only eligible for this type of surgery if your disc is laterally herniated and your pain presents as leg/butt pain caused by a shooting nerve.  Enter... me.  Yep, I am a pretty awesome candidate for the surgery according to the spinal specialist.

If I even say the words, "Spinal Surgeon" to people, they kind of freak.  My dear friend Melissa and I went out for drinks last night and after I explained to her what might happen in a month or so, she says, "Phew - I was prepared to walk in here tonight and demand that you NOT have surgery.  But, you've put me at ease and now I think you should do it."

I understand the freak out.  Trust me.  I do.  More than you know.  After all, it's MY spine they're talking about messing around with!

Here's the skinny on my options at this point.

Option #1 - deal with the pain for the rest of my life.  (Unlikely)

Option #2 - continue with PT in the hopes that it becomes (and STAYS) manageable for the rest of my life.  Great option, but a bit scary considering how long I've been doing PT so far without relief.

Option #3 - a surgical procedure.

Now, before you jump on the "surgery is evil" bandwagon, let me explain what they will be doing to me - IF I decide to go through with it.

A 1.5-2 cm incision will lead them toward my spine.  They will cut away a small piece of bone (laminectomy) in order to gain access to my disc and nerves.  They will pull the nerves aside and then cut away a portion of the disc - the smallest portion possible - that is pushing on the nerves and causing me so much pain.  Then, they close me up and we're done. 45 minutes to an hour and I'm in recovery.

The post-op recovery ranges depending on your health, but some folks are up and walking and feeling good in 3-5 days.  I'm expecting a couple of weeks of recovery before I push anything.  Then a couple more before starting PT again.  Then, according to the surgeon, if all goes well, I should be back to my old self within 8-10 weeks.  In other words, 8 weeks after surgery (fingers crossed), I will be back to working out as I always have, back on the bike, back feeling good.

The success rate with this surgery is 85-90%.  10% of patients experience some re-herniation of the disc throughout the rest of their life.  6-7% experience little relief from the pain after surgery.

The surgery involves no fusing and no removal of discs in their entirety.

So, here's what's up.  I have been going to the gym and trying to stay active (Doctor's orders).  I'm continuing to do PT (of various kinds) to see if I can get relief through a conservative method.  If the semester ends and I'm still in the amount of pain I was in today, for example, I'm going to have one of the best surgeons in the region perform a lateral micro-discectomy on my back.

I'm happy with this.  Well, as happy as one can be with a scalpel aimed at your spine.

I feel as though I've done everything right so far.  I've followed all of the steps toward conservative therapy.  I've done everything I'm supposed to do.  At this point, I just want my life back.  I want to go through a day without constant pain.  I want to be able to sit, stand, ride my bike, swim, and hell, maybe even run again one day.  So, if I'm still feeling like this as of December 12th, you can send flowers and boxes of chocolates to the house, c/o Dr. Porkchop.

Light At the End of the Tunnel

So, for anyone who actually reads this blog (Hi, Mom!), you know that I've been dealing with my back issue for going on nearly a year now.  Technically, at least.

I first started feeling pain during cyclocross season last year.  It appeared as a burning sensation down the back of my right hamstring.  Like any good athlete with goals in mind, I completely ignored it.

After the season ended, it slowly dissipated and again, I forgot about it.

As I bega to gear up for the Spring race season, it reappeared - with a vengeance.  Apparently, it did not appreciate being ignored and decided that it would make itself readily known.  So, the pain came back and spread - to my butt and to the lower part of my leg.  And then the fun really started.

By May, I could barely walk.  I developed an intense lateral pelvic shift, had an MRI done to discover the herniated disc, and began a very painful series of Physical Therapy visits.  Once the shift was corrected (which took about 6 weeks), the pain lessened, but didn't go away.

The cortisone shot was supposed to help with that.  It didn't.  The pain "shifted," but didn't disappear.  I could no longer sit without searing pain down my leg and standing, while better at first, still leads into pain within an hour or two.

Back to another type of PT, which seemed to help a bit at first.  However, I've plateaued.  We can't get the pain to go away and it's beginning (haha) to get on my nerves (hahaha).

Back to the Ortho again resulting in the appointment with a spinal surgeon.

Now, for all you folks that are anti-surgery - trust me, I understand and I appreciate your dedication to PT and conservative forms of therapy.  I'm going to continue to try those until I've exhausted my options.  But, I've also got to know that there's a solution down the road.  If the PT works, GREAT!  I'll be happy and pain free and back on my bike.

But, if it doesn't - the surgery is the way to go.  I don't WANT surgery, mind you.  Anyone who would want someone slicing them open and cutting out a piece of them (just for the hell of it) has got to be a little bit loopy.  But, equally loopy would be the person who says, "Well, I know that there's something that can be done surgically with an 85-95% success rate.  But, I'd rather wallow in pain and misery for the rest of my life."

I am not loopy.  Well, not about this at least.

Consult

The word consult on it's own is just fine.

The word consult attached to "with the Spinal Surgery Specialist" is a bit more freaky.

Mon the Biff

Three of the most important words of the evening last night.  Mon. The. Biff.

I can't really explain that, except to say that if you're a fan of Biffy Clyro, you should already know what I'm talking about.

I was first introduced to Biffy a few years ago by my dear friend, Simon.  I became hooked pretty quickly and was particularly bummed when I missed a few shows at local spots like the North Star and a free show in Northern Liberties.  But all of that was forgotten after last night's front row viewing of the band at the Trocadero!  Best $11.00 I ever spent.

They were pretty awesome.  These guys play hard - and I do mean HARD!  They are a true rock band and the show was 100% proof of that.

They played quite a few of my favorite songs - a nice mixture of the new album and the older stuff.  And, I had a pretty good view of the show - from the front row!  It's been a VERY long time since I've been front row for something.  We were pretty close to the stage at the Killers a couple of months ago (maybe 4 people back or so), but the last time I was actually FRONT row was the Depeche Mode Devotional tour in 1993!

So, I came away from last night with some great photos, a nice video of Machines, and Simon's set list! Pretty cool night.

This will get stored away in a safe place with my Killers Konfetti from the Atlantic City show!  

The opening act was Morning Parade, an English band from Essex.  They were pretty great, too... I'll be picking up some of their stuff soon enough.

BACK for an update...

So, here's what's new in the world of my herniated disk... sigh...

The one cortisone shot that I received did something.  The number one thing that it did was shift my pain.  I'm not sure how that happened, but before the shot I could sit all day, but had trouble standing for longer than 20-30 minutes without agonizing pain.  Post shot, I can stand (after over an hour it gets a little sore), but can't sit for very long at all.  Shooting firey pain is an all too familiar feeling right now.

Before the shot, riding my bike was easy.  Now, it hurts.  Not. Good.

Before the shot, my leg felt ok in terms of weakness... a little weak, but not so bad.  After the shot, my leg feels like it's going to give out underneath me at least once a day.  It's very weak.

I went back to follow up with the pain doctor.  I was feeling ok when I went in to see him, so he told me just to come back if/when needed.  I see my Ortho in a couple of weeks, so I will see what happens there.

I started working with a new PT.  He does more mechanical manual manipulation intended to open up, stretch, and otherwise clear the path for the nerve to run without causing pain.  It certainly has helped some, but not as much as I'd hoped.

I've started swimming again - thank goodness our gym switched to salt water, so no allergic reaction to the chlorine! - and I continue to do the core work and stretches that the PT suggested.

Unfortunately, things are not good.  I'm still in a lot of pain... I'm still only sometimes able to stretch the way I need to for the PT's exercises to work.  I'm still pretty annoying to Mr. Porkchop who has to hear me wince and say ouch numerous times each day.  I'm still hopeful that something will work to make me feel better.  Unfortunately, I'm not as hopeful that this something is going to be non-invasive and "conservative."

I don't know what lies ahead for me in terms of this issue.  But, whatever is before me, I know that I have Mr. Porkchop by my side to make sure that I'm ok!  :)

The Post That's NOT About the Government Shut Down

Yeah, I'm no political blogger.  I have a few friends who can chat your ear off all day about politics and its evils.  I prefer to let them have it and move on to more important issues... like cookies and fluffy unicorns and piglets at the zoo...

These things, after all, are far more important, right?  Speaking of the important things in life... allow me to mention just a few that I think are significant before turning to someone far funnier than I to do the same...

1.  Don't forget to veg out... by this I don't mean literally wallowing in a slothful existence, but taking time for yourself once in a while.  And, yes...sometimes that means sitting in front of the television watching reruns of Three's Company.  Or, spending an hour swimming or riding a bike or knitting or reading or whatever.  We are too caught up in our work.  We've forgotten how good it can feel to veg out.
2.  Appreciate your own hypocrisy.  Yep... we are all hypocrites.  Some far worse than others, but we're all guilty.  I can speed down the freeway but will yell at the guy who speeds faster.  I've often heard the phrase "Universe of One" uttered by those who live in a "universe of one."  Acknowledge it and you're more likely to overcome it.

3.  Breathe Deeply... so that you can yell more loudly.  Sometimes you just have to yell, complain, bitch, moan, scream, sigh, plead, etc.  Take a deep breath before you do so... it will help you clear your mind so that your ensuing rant is more coherent and logical!

And now, for this guy...enjoy

Back to School, Back to School

I actually like the first few weeks of classes. 

The first few weeks provides a new opportunity every semester to establish the tenor of the classroom.  It allows me the chance to reinvent myself as a professor.  It allows me to introduce myself to a new crop of students and hope to win them over to a semester of hard work and major rewards.  And, most important...

It allows the students a clean slate. 

So many of us bring our baggage with us everywhere we go.  In some cases, it's quite literal, like the student one semester who brought a full-sized suitcase to class every day.  In others, it's all the stuff that has bogged us down in the past.  The failed exams, the shame spiral of absences, the attempt at going to such-and-such university, the loss of a job in the workplace.  Whatever we bring with us normally can be set aside in the first few weeks of a new class. 

I often tell my students that what they did before doesn't matter.  I don't care if you flunked Humanities before.  It wasn't THIS class.  And, even if it was, it wasn't THIS semester.  THIS class in THIS semester is our chance to discard all of that baggage.  Those excuses about why it didn't go well last time or what it was that held us back from the desired A+.  THIS class in THIS semester is our chance to start fresh.

What they often don't realize is that we professors, too, have our baggage.  Just before the semester began, I got my evaluations from last semester.  In general, they're good.  But, there's always the few students who circle "Strongly Disagree."  I take those rare bubbles VERY seriously.  I think back on the past semester and about what I may have done to one (or to several) students that would lead them to believe that I wasn't attentive to their grades, or that I wasn't available after class, or that I didn't provide proper feedback. 

And, every semester I change something.  Every semester, I try to make sure that those evaluations do not go unaddressed.  Every semester, I try to make sure that I am a better professor. 

I actually like the first few weeks of classes.

Bears, Needles, and Classrooms... OH MY!

Yeah, I've been pretty much a slacker lately.  At least, a slacker in terms of posting here.  But, not really a slacker, as I've been busy.

Last weekend was my last weekend of freedom before classes began on Tuesday.  So, I headed down to Virginia to ride bikes with a few teammates and friends.  We got rained on both days, but it was great.  I absolutely love riding in the mountains and the valleys of the Shenandoah.  It's gorgeous, the roads are long, winding, and generally empty of cars.  It allows me to really remember why I ride a bike.  I do it because it makes me feel happy and free.  It makes me feel like there's not much I can't do.  It reminds me that I am alive and that there is more to life than the daily grind.  And, it keeps me in contact with amazing people who share a love for the road. 

I finally saw my first wild bear!  It was standing on the side of the highway just out of the edge of the woods, contemplating how to get to the other side.  So, while I didn't get to really watch it or observe it as we drove past, my heart leapt!  FINALLY!  WAHOO!

I had another run in with a bear while we were down there... and I have the bruise to show for it.  See, we stayed at "Bear Lodge."  Of course, a house named like that would be covered with bear related decorations, right?  Well, as I was stepping into the bathroom and about to close the door, I stepped back into the bear shaped toilet paper holder.  WHAM - right into my hip.  Ouch.  That left a bruise.  Literally.  A bruise that the nurse asked me about this week when I went in for my procedure (to be described below).  The conversation went something like this:

"Um, you have a large bruise on your left hip."
Giggle, giggle, "Yeah, I ran into a bear shaped toilet paper holder."
"I'm not even going to ask."
Giggle, giggle - injection of sedation meds - zzzzzz....

Yesterday was my cortisone injection.  I was nervous about it.  I've never had an IV, never been sedated (not counting sedation for dental work), and the thought of someone shoving giant needles into my back was exciting (would I REALLY be out of pain?!?!) and a bit scary (that's my SPINE that you're messing with!).

The staff at the surgical center were great.  They made me laugh and kept me warm and calm.  The IV pinched a bit, but once it was in, I rather forgot that it was there.  They wheeled me into the operating room, made a few jokes about how they had to call me Dr. and then I was laying face down on the table.  Within 20-30 seconds of the injection of sedation meds, I was out cold. 

I woke up in recovery with Mr. Porkchop next to me.  He asked how I was feeling, I said that I was fine.  They told me a few things, some of which I actually remembered later.  Mostly, I just wanted to go to sleep.  And eat.  But, sleep was more pressing. 

I fell asleep in the car on the way home, managed to get up to bed, and woke up about 3 hours later.  My first thought was, wow, the pain is not totally gone, but it is a lot better! 

I am cautiously optimistic.  I have to call the doctor on Monday to let him know how I'm feeling.  We may do another procedure soon if the pain isn't reduced by 80%.  But, my initial thought is that we won't do another shot for a while.  We'll see how the weekend goes!  Fingers crossed!

Bonkage

I rode a lot this week.  More than I've ridden since April.  And, I rode pretty hard.

For me, at least.

I keep having to remind myself that I was couch-bound for over 2 months.  I feel a little bit of frustration that I'm just not strong like I'd like to be.  But, I have to smack myself in the head and remind myself that just a few weeks ago, I could barely walk.

This week included one major bonk and one less major bonk during rides.  Bonking sucks.  It's not just your legs feeling tired and not able to push a decent pace.  It's like your lights just go out entirely.  You stop thinking of anything other than the fact that you feel like crud.  Then, you stop thinking about that and just become a bit of a zombie on two wheels.  The major bonk lasted for the rest of the evening, just never quite coming back around to feeling normal.  The minor one was over as soon as I was able to slow down on the bike and just find my internal rhythm again.  And, of course, by being distracted from the pain and cruddy feeling by those around me.

One ride this week was a blessing in that I was riding with a Med Student whose speciality is sport/spinal work.  She already works as a PT and is going back for her DO.  She listened to my litany of presentations and symptoms and gave me some great advice on what I might try going forward.  Because of this conversation, I'm less nervous about the fact that I'll be getting an epidural shot next week and I'm trying out a new Physical Therapist the following week.  Because of this conversation, I'm feeling better about my recovery and about my prognosis going forward.  So, a HUGE thank you goes out to my Wednesday riding buddy!!  THANK YOU!

So, I'm tired tonight.  Very tired.  But, I'm also satisfied.  I know that I have amazing people around me who want to see me make a full recovery and who are willing to put up with the Grumpy-Chop on occasion as I struggle to get there.  I now have a better idea of what really might be going on inside this bod of mine and I'm anxious to get some new eyes and new ideas in the recovery mix.  I am now ready to focus on the next set of things in life...

A new contract at work - FINALLY!!
In-service week with my awesome colleagues.
The start of classes with a new fleet of (hopefully wicked cool) students.
A team weekend in the mountains.
The lovely season of long weekend rides watching the leaves change color.

But first...
A trip to the zoo and the beach with Mr. Porkchop!  :)

Decompressing

The last few days have been about decompressing.  There were so many things this summer that I was looking forward to...

Defending my dissertation.
Submitting my dissertation.
Celebrating with friends and family.
My parents visiting.
Getting some work done around the house.
Prepping for Fall classes.
Racing my bike with my teammates.

And now... most of those things are over.  The big party was this past weekend.  My mom and dad drove out from Wyoming (yep, DROVE out!) to celebrate with us.  They've since headed back home.  It's very sad every time they leave because I do love being around them.  If only I could figure out a way for us all to live on the same side of the country, I'd be pretty happy.  Alas... maybe one day!

The thing about having so much to look forward to is that, once it's over, you're kind of left in a lurch.  So, I'm in a funk now.  So, in order to avoid the funk, I've been trying to find things to do.  I work on stuff around the house (painting the front steps and front door - those faded out shutters are next!), revamping my entire online course to the new system (again), rethinking the readings for my Humanities class (again), putting the finishing touches on my article that's due in a month.

But, all of this is really just feeling like busy work.

I'm mentally tired.  I'm emotionally worn out.  While I'm aware of it, there's not much I can do to change it right now.  I'm way too sensitive about certain things.  And, some things are just finally catching up to me.  I think I just need a few days somewhere beautiful (the beach, the mountains, somewhere) to relax, think of nothing but what I've managed to accomplish over the past few months, and just get recharged.

Maybe I can make that happen...

Dinner's On Me!

I went out to my first crit (post-injury) yesterday.  It was a small field of 15 riders, but there were definitely some strong legs out there.  A couple of fast ladies from the Farm Team showed up, and there was a collegiate national champion in the ranks.  It was NOT going to be an easy race.  However, with teams being represented with (at most) two riders, it also was not going to be a constant attack fest.

There were some surprisingly big primes on the line for the day - several $20 prizes, one was $50 and another was $100.  VERY impressive Wachtung Wheelmen.  VERY impressive.  Not to mention $750 payout 10 deep for our field.  Why this race doesn't generate more interest is beyond me, but I plan to try to get it on the team's radar for next year!  We could rack up some serious cashola if we brought out the big guns for this one!!

So, I had a feeling that it would come down to a field sprint - NOT my cup of tea, but whatever.  I was feeling surprisingly good, and at one point, I launched a rather fruitless attack.  Nonetheless, I got off the front solo.  I settled in to a nice TT pace and passed through the finish line.  When I came through the second time, they called a 2-deep prime... $50 for 1st, $20 for 2nd.  OH, CRAP.  I knew that meant that #1 - I had a shot at $50 and #2 - they were going to chase like banshees!

So, I put my head down, gritted my teeth, and just hauled butt.  I made it to the line for the prime, with another rider about half a bike length behind for the $20.  PHEW!  But, then... I had to survive.  The next 45 seconds were BRUTAL.  I had burned myself up on that flyer and with my fitness still coming around, it was NOT pleasant.  But, I managed to get enough air and enough power in my legs to hang on at the back.

Of course, this completely blew me for the finish, so I had a terrible final result.  BUT - I raced hard.  I cannot look at that race and be upset in ANY way.  I jumped away from a field for 2.5 laps!  I won a $50 prime!!  I am back on the bike and feeling good!

Thanks to Mike for driving us up there and for getting us home in the pouring, flooding rain of South Jersey.  I'm SO sorry that it took you another HOUR to get the 7 miles back to your house!  I owe you... BIG TIME!  :)

Happy Birthday, Grams!

My grandmother turns 88 today.  She's an amazing woman.  She's spunky, she's funny, she loves life, she loves her family, and she has lived a wonderful life.

A couple of years ago, we armed ourselves with a recorder and asked her questions about her life.  She told us about meeting my grandfather.  Their first kiss.  And, about how she told her mom he was a few years younger than he really was because her mother would kill my 18-year-old grandmother for dating a man who was 25!

She told us about the great flood in Cincinnati in 1937 when the house downtown was flooded up to the third floor windows and she and her mom took a boat back to the house to try to save the family bird.  She watched her mother climb in the 3rd story window only to find that the bird had died and all of the furniture from the first two floors was floating.



The family still owns and lives in that house today - running the nearly 100 year old pickle factory out of the basement.  And, my grandmother goes there every Saturday to help pack pickles, clean jars, and stick on labels.

My grandfather passed away in 1995.  He was an amazing man that I wish I had known better.  He was funny, hard-working, handsome, and tough.  I'm lucky that I am learning about him from my mother, my aunts and uncles, and my grandmother.  And, I am very grateful that I am taking the time to know my Grams better while I have the chance.

Happy 88th Birthday, you spunky little lady.  I love you dearly and can't wait to hear some more stories about your amazing life soon!

Is There a Doctor in the House?!?

Um... yes, yes, there is!!

I did it!  Officially and finally!  I defended this afternoon and was officially passed - my paperwork signed - my title given.  I am Dr. Porkchop!

The short of it is this... I presented my work for 20 minutes in front of my committee members, my parents, sister and brother-in-law (who were there via Skype), my porkfectly wonderful hubby, 2 Temple grad students, and 4 of my favorite colleagues from work.

After the 20 minutes, the committee members took turns asking me some questions.  Then, the audience  asked a few questions.  Then, the committee asked us all to leave so that they could chat.  A few minutes later, they called me back in and congratulated me!  And, officially called me Dr. for the first time.  WOW.

So, that's it.  I have to send the electronic document to the server before August 5th and then, I just have to wait for my diploma to arrive in the mail!

I documented the day, or at least most of it, in photos... so, here they are...

5:30 am: Wake Up
6:00 am: Ride

8:00 am: get home from ride, shower, eat, drink coffee, do crossword puzzle, stress out

10:45 am: arrive on campus to see these posted all over the place!

11:15 am: get into classroom, turn on computer, load powerpoint, give myself a pep talk from Kid President...

12:00 - 1:45 pm: Defend, defend, defend.  Leave the room to await deliberations.

1:50 pm: Declared a Doctor!

WOO HOO!

A Shiny New Jersey Jersey

So, Sunday was my first race back since April 21st.

When I looked back at my results and realized it had been nearly 3 months since I raced my bike, I was very sad.  And, very grateful.  Two months ago, I literally couldn't walk.  I was in excruciating pain.  I was debilitated.  And, I feared that it would never get better.

So, the fact that I was even there on Sunday seemed to be a blessing to me.  65 miles with 50 riders - mostly men in the 55/65+ categories, I hoped that I would be able to hang on to the main group and stay in for the finish.  With only 5-6 women in the field, I was hoping for a podium!  Silly, I know, but it was a goal!

The pack essentially stayed together for the whole race.  While there were a few solo attacks off the front, it wasn't in the cards for anyone to stay away on the pancake flat course.  A few riders dropped off the back as the pace got lifted in the 4th lap, but I felt comfortable and strong sitting in the middle of the field.

As we came through the final lap, I gave Kristin and Chuck a thumbs up and just focused on the finish. I got as close to the other women as I could, knowing that I needed to watch them toward the line.

As we hit 500 meters to go, the field began to stretch out across the road.  I made the instinctual move left and it was a good decision.  A little kerfuffle on the right side of the road held up some riders, but I was able to move past it on the left to sprint for the line - as much as a Porkchop can sprint, that is.

One female rider, Caryl Gale, finished in front of me (and 5th overall!), and I came in at 15th overall and 2nd in the women's field!  PODIUM!!  Wahoo!

Once I got over to the podium ceremony, I found out that I had gotten MORE than a podium...  I was the only 35+ woman in the race, so I actually got a NJ State Road Race Championship jersey and a W!

Even though I was the only 35+ woman in the field, I'm stoked to have had such a good first race back.  It's given me the confidence to keep riding and keep training.  I'm looking forward to getting back out there with the team and having fun with them for the rest of the race season and into the beautiful realm of fall riding... :)

Thanks to my awesome pit crew (Borda and Mr. Porkchop), thanks to Specialized for making the Amira (she's the best steed, ever!!), and thanks to Mother Nature for providing us the woods in which we all relieved ourselves after the director of the Mullica Recreation Park decided to spite the cyclists and remove all but one of the porta-potties the night before the race.  Shame on you, meanie-face.  

The Post That Leads To AWESOME!

I needed to watch this again last night.  I went out to Greentree for the first time since May.  It was rough.  I knew that it would be... but it was rough.  Within a few laps, I was gasping for air and my legs were screaming.  Within a few more, I was popped.  I hopped back in, lasted a few minutes longer than the first time... then popped again for the final time.  Did I mention that it was rough??  

But, I was in there.  I was surrounded by friends - those who want to see me come back - and it was great.  The feeling of kicking my own butt out there with the guys was fantastic, even if I couldn't hold a wheel to save my life.  Next week will be better.  I'm certain of it.

My defense is now less than a week away.  I'm excited, a bit scared and nervous, but also strangely calm.  I've been working on cutting down my talk to under 20 minutes.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to cover a 200 page dissertation in 15-20 minutes?!?  Holy CRAPOLY!!  This is a magic act in and of itself... not to mention that I have to present this naturally without straying too far from what I want to say and without speed talking!  Wowza.  It's gonna be great!

So, I have a feeling that I will watch this video a few more times before next Wednesday... thanks for the pep talk, Kid President!!

Back in the Saddle Again

This past week/weekend saw me attending 2 races...though I wasn't racing, I was helping out my team and the Heart House team in the feed zone at the PA and NJ State Road Races.  It was fun to be around the team again and my heart felt better being with them.  

So, Sunday, Borda and I headed down to Badger's house for a ride and a sponsor-based photo shoot!  We needed to take some pics for our great sponsor Beyer Kia and for our new friends at ProGold.  So, it was Badger, Little D, Borda, and me out for a spin.  We just hung around in "the park" near Badger's house, but we did a climb and we didn't dawdle.  Afterwards, we went out for lunch.  When we stood up from the table, I was shocked.  No pain.  None.  For about 10 minutes.  Then, a little bit started to come back in. 

Several times over the next 24 hours, I realized that I was actively moving and feeling no pain.  This is the first time that I can say that since MAY.  The pain is not gone.  Not entirely... but, I am feeling SO much better.

So, we hit the Action Wheels ride last night.  It was great.  I had a blast and felt good on the bike.  Borda had to do long intervals today, so I joined her for those this morning.  By 9:00, I'd put in more miles in the last three days than in the last 2 months!  And, I'm still feeling GREAT!

I have decided to take tomorrow off, hit Greentree on Thursday night, and race in the NJ Masters State Road Race on Sunday.  I'm truly hoping that this is it... that I am back in the saddle for good.  But, trust me... I am extremely attentive to my body right now.  When it tells me that enough is enough, I will listen.  But, for now, the bod is telling me to just do it!  

Back in the saddle again...

Intolerance and The Art of Letting Go

In the age of social media, you often find out more about what is on the mind of your friends than you ever thought possible.  In fact, in most cases, you learn more than you ever wanted.  You find out about their quirks (in odd and sometimes uncomfortable ways), you discover their likes and dislikes, and you uncover the limits of their tolerance for others.

I, personally, find intolerance intolerable.  Yep, I completely see the hypocrisy of that statement.  But, it's true.  The more I learn about people, the more I realize that intolerance is a sickness from which many of us desperately need a vaccination.  And, I admit it... I am intolerant of intolerance.  I find the blatant hatred of different groups, cultures, religions, political parties, or other "differences" appalling.  Don't get me wrong... I dislike some people.  But, I tend to dislike them due to their personal actions, not because they're part of some grouping that has been socio-culturally created.

Recent interactions with those whose intolerance is ignited by things like skin color, religious denomination, or what side of my head I choose to part my hair (by the way, if you don't part on the right, you're WRONG!), has opened my eyes.  I'm desperately working on my own intolerance.

My intolerance to those who drive like idiots.
My intolerance to those who always put themselves above everyone else.
My intolerance of annoying commercials.
My intolerance of the news media.
My intolerance of intolerance.

As Gandhi once said, "Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding."

I would bet that Gandhi was also intolerant of intolerance.  And, I bet he struggled with it as we all do.

I suppose that it's all part of the Art of Letting Go.

I know that I've just quoted Gandhi, so quoting the woman who wrote "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul" might seem like a downshift.  However, I think that this statement has tons of validity and truth to it... "Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore.  It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself."

I'm trying to listen to advice from a very good friend about letting go.  It's such a hard thing to do, and I'm realizing that my personality is such that I am always trying to "fix" things that are going wrong...even if the attempt is futile and the thing really isn't worth fixing.  I've done this for a long time, and I'm always disappointed when I can't fix what I see as broken.

Through talking with her, I've realized that I've been trying to fix the wrong thing.  I cannot fix others.  I cannot make people more tolerant.  I cannot make them realize that they are headed down the wrong path.  I cannot make them see things my way if they absolutely refuse.  I cannot help them if they're happy in the situation that they have chosen.  All I CAN do is look at myself, realize that I am unhappy with the current status quo, and get myself out of it.  All I can control is ME.

So, here you have it.  My July 4th resolutions... Cultivate Tolerance and Practice the Art of Letting Go.

Wish me luck.

The Post Without a Schnazzy Name

I don't even know what to call this post....

I Can't Believe I Just Emailed That...?

Holy Crap, This is Great News...?

The Best Week Ever...?

I suppose that all of those would be viable.

I know that it's only Tuesday, though, so the last one might be a tad preemptive.  Still, it's been a pretty daggon good start to the week!

The best Monday EVER began with a bike ride with Borda.  We started out from her house and it was overcast, but cool.  About 20 minutes in, the sky opened and the rain began.  It drizzled, then it drizzled harder, then it was just an awesome steady rain.  I loved EVERY SECOND of it.  I was on my bike.  I was with one of the greatest gals ever.  I was happy.  And, I was feeling good.

Turns out, the best thing for my (still painful) sciatic nerve is riding my bike and stretching more than I've ever stretched in my life!  After two solid days on the bike and two solid days of stretching sessions, I am feeling REALLY good and am actually optimistic that I'm going to only get better from here on out.

We then spent about 6 hours of our Monday at the Crescent Moon coffee shop (best Toffee Cream Bars, EVER!!) working.  I finished editing my dissertation while Borda studied for her Final Exam.  At about 3:45pm yesterday, I emailed the final version of my dissertation to my committee (I Can't Believe I Just Emailed That!) and my defense announcement to the secretary of the department.  The announcement went out this morning (this thing is now officially happening on the 17th!!) and all of my advisors responded saying that they got the document and were looking forward to reading it.

I woke up this morning to more rainy weather, so I decided to ride my bike on the trainer rather than get soaked again.  A nice spin left me feeling good and stretched out without a lot of pain in my sciatic!  YESSSS!!!

And then, I got an email.  I knew from the sender's name that it was about an article that I'd sent in for consideration for publication.  My laptop was acting a bit screwy, so it took like a zillion minutes (ok, maybe it was about 10 seconds) to open.  Once it did, I realized that my paper had been... accepted!!!

HOLY CRAP, This Is GREAT News!!!  I'm going to have part of my dissertation published in a peer-reviewed journal in early 2014.

Wow, wow, wow!

So, as I said... it's only Tuesday, so it might be a bit early to declare the Best Week Ever.  Still, it's in the running...

T-Minus 3 Weeks

And definitely counting...

July 17th is the big day.  Defense day.  If all goes well, I'll be declared Dr. Porkchop sometime that afternoon!  I can hardly believe that the day is so fast approaching, but I'm ready.  I feel confident that I've produced a solid dissertation with some really unique, original, interesting, and fun material.  I feel that I will be more than ready to present and defend my work.  And, I'm lucky and grateful to have a crew of supporters that will be there for the event, including my amazing colleagues, my hubby, and my parents (via Skype!!).  I have no doubt that it will be a great day and I'm actually starting to look forward to it.

Of course, there is MUCH to be done before then.  I've designed my flyer, which will be sent to the entire University early next week.  I'm now doing proofread #1 of the entire dissertation.  This proofread is just for minor errors.  Proofread number two will be for formatting and all of that jazz.  And then, the whole thing will be sent to all of my committee members for a final read before the defense. 

And, of course, I have to prepare my defense.  A twenty minute presentation of my work.  Twenty minutes sounds like a long time, right?  Yeah... not so much.  I could probably fill half of that time just talking about WHY I chose this topic.  But, I have to do that AND give a thorough explanation of my entire dissertation in twenty minutes.  Yipes.  Brevity.  Yes, I must cultivate brevity. 

What's New, Magoo?

So, let's start with someone else's life, shall we?  I'm still waiting to hear the news of Baby A's arrival.  Though she's now 1 week late, I know that her mother has given her an eviction notice, so her arrival is imminent.  I can't wait to get the text that she's on her way, or here... and I'm really excited to get to meet her later! 

I've been back on the bike.  It's been pretty good, actually.  I mean, I did some 1 minute intervals today.  They sucked.  I suck.  My fitness is completely gone and I was not even close to being able to hold a moderate wattage for even 1 stinking minute.  But, I was smiling the ENTIRE ride!!  I'm on my bike!!  And, it generally feels pretty damn good.  

We joined the local swim club.  It's been nice to sit out in the sun near a pool into which we can hop when we get overheated.  It's not a big place and it's nothing fancy - just the local dive (so to speak), but we like it and it's fun to have a place to go together.  

My defense is just on the horizon.  I think that my sister is going to be in town for the event, so I'm REALLY excited about that.  I'm looking forward to it all being over and being done with this whole thing.  With just a bit left to do, I'm trying not to run out of steam.

Two days left of teaching and the final and I'm on official vacation until the Fall semester starts back up.  7 weeks of freedom to ride my bike, work on some grant writing for the Animal Shelter, prep my fall classes (both online and live), and spend some quality hours soaking up some much needed Vitamin D!  

Bring it on!

Back to Basics

I have my follow up with the ortho on Monday.  Fingers are crossed that I will be given the full green light (or green flag, as the case may be) to get back on the road on my bike.  The pain is now nearly gone...I get some back soreness at the end of the day, and I'm still pretty reliant upon my anti-inflammatory pills to keep things from getting too inflamed.  But, I'm ready to get back.  I'm ready to be back on the bike and riding/training with my AMAZING teammates and friends.

Speaking of my teammates, they have been RIPPING it UP out there!  So many podiums for BadKat and Little D and BChan that I can barely keep track of them.  You should keep an eye on them on the team blog.  I'm so proud of them and SO ready to be back out there with them - even if I'm just pack-fodder.  To be back in the Wasabi and Orchid and back on Mari is now a near reality.  YAY!

I've been doing lots of core work - I'm sure that my dream of having six-pack abs will never happen (I love sweet fruit and Diet Pepsi waay too much), but a strong core that keeps my back in line is definitely in the cards!

The dissertation process is still underway...I'm at one of those slightly frustrating points where I am waiting for feedback and can't really do anything.  Sigh.  Talk about testing one's patience.  If I can get through this, I think I can survive just about anything that forces me to wait.  And wait.  And wait.

Speaking of waiting...my bestest friend in the world is currently waiting on the arrival of her first baby! I'm VERY excited about this and can't wait to travel to the other side of the nation to meet Baby A later this summer.  She's due this Sunday, so the little one may arrive any day now.  I'm hoping that, for her sake, the peanut decides to be on time or just barely late... I'm not sure that another two weeks of patience are in the cards!!  Plus, we all want to know what crazy name they've chosen for her.... I've thought of suggesting a few... but I figure DeadSpin can do it for me.  ;)

So, come on, Baby A!  We're WAITING!!!

Seven Tubs and Seven Hours of Peaceful Sleep

I had to travel to Wilkes-Barre, PA this past weekend.  If you've never been to Wilkes-Barre, allow me to say that it's a quaint little town in Luzerne County.  It has some really pretty areas, but it's a bit of a sad place, too.  While there's a Wegman's in town, there are only a few additional grocery stores and they're less than ideal.  Not a lot of fresh fruit, not a lot of fresh veggies, and a TON of processed foods.  Still, I've been there several times over the past few years... once for the PA State Criterium Championships and twice for conferences with students. 

This conference was great and fun.  They tend to be a tad bit boring on occasion, as they're more for the students than the advisors.  So, when Saturday rolled around and we had less than a ton to do, my advisor-friend Bill and I decided to find something to do.  A quick Google search revealed the Seven Tubs Nature Area. It was quite pretty and the hike up to the top of the falls was fun! 

Though we had breakfast available on Sunday morning, I decided to hit the road after the last session on Saturday night and sleep in my own bed (not the new one, yet...).  Plus, we had much to do the next day to get the new bed finished, moved in, and ready for our first night!

We were slightly derailed when we decided to hit the local Flea Market with the In-laws!  It was GREAT, actually.  I mean, it was a completely awesome people watching paradise, but we actually found some cool stuff.  I picked up a beautiful little daguerreotype of a young woman for $15.  She's gorgeous and the piece is in really wonderful condition.  Her cheeks are tinted pink and her jewelry is painted with gold.  Really stunning.  I simply couldn't pass it up!  It's not the best image of her, but here she is!

The first night's sleep on the new bed was wonderful.  We both slept like babies.  The larger mattress is wonderful and it's so fantastic to feel a solid and high quality mattress underneath us.  And, my back and hip didn't hurt!!  :)  We're VERY happy.  Even if I did hit my head on the new headboard once!  ;) 

Nearly Finished...

So, my healing continues. 

While my pelvic shift is gone (except on rare occasions where I've overdone it and my muscles get tired), I'm still in quite a bit of pain.  The most pain I feel when I try to sleep on our mattress.  I can sleep like a baby on the $250 piece of crud mattress in the spare bedroom.  Or on the couch.  But, I curl up next to Mr. Porkchop in our bed and forget about it.  I'm up at 3am in horrible pain and moving to another room for the rest of the night.

Enter... our solution.

For the first time in a LONG time, we've splurged a bit.  We bought a new bed frame and a new mattress this week.  It's fundamental if we ever want to sleep in the same room again!  I've been working hard to stain and finish the bed frame, which we bought from the local "naked" furniture guy.  It's gorgeous solid pine with 12 drawers underneath the bed platform, and a lovely bookcase headboard.  Once it's all together and in place, photos are sure to follow. 

The mattress choosing expedition was a blast.  We flopped around on a dozen different mattresses instructing one another to BOUNCE!  And basking in the fact that on some of the mattresses, we could barely even feel the other person moving.  It was just like the commercials!  In the end, we were really lucky to find a PERFECT mattress on clearance, so we got it for about 70% off the regular price.  WIN!  It's perfect... it doesn't hurt my back or my hip, it's comfy, and it's bigger than our current bed.

If all goes well, we'll have the new bedroom put together this weekend.  Happiness and Joy and NO PAIN!

Iron Hill Twilight CRAP

I know that I'm not even able to race right now, but I was hoping that by July I'd be back in the mix.  Probably off the back of the mix, but at least getting to the start line with my ladies.  With that in mind, I was thinking that I've always wanted to do the Iron Hill Twilight Crit.  I missed racing it last year because of my shoulder, but I was there cheering on a teammate and thought it was so awesome. 

So, I thought that perhaps, perchance, maybe I'd be able to try it out this year.  Until a friend emailed me very confused about the start time.  "Why does BikeReg say that the women's race starts at 9am?"  I looked it, up and responded the only way I could, "Because that's apparently when it starts."

WHAT THE HELL?!?!

Not only have the promoters of this raced slapped the Women's PROFESSIONAL/Cat 1/2/3 field in the face by putting us at 9:00 in the morning when the major crowds come out for what used to be the Men's and Women's Pro fields at the twilight crit in the evening.  But, they've also seen fit to have the women's payout at $400... split among the top 10 finishers.  To put this in perspective, the Men's pro payout is $15,000.  Yes, that's THREE zeros there.  ONE of these slaps would be enough to cause some women to boycott the race.  But you've given us the old Three Stooges one-two.  And, we're NOT stooges. 

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't expect the payouts to be equal.  That's a HUGE rarity in our sport, and I understand and respect why it doesn't happen often.  I am ok with that.  But $400???  Why not just give us medals and call it a day.  You're asking women who have reached the top domestic tier of our sport to show up to an event that clearly believes that women are not worth ANYTHING. 

It's OFFENSIVE Iron Hill Twilight Crit.  I know many women that are planning to boycott this race.  And, I know that there are a lot of top MEN who are skipping it for the first time this year as well.  I can assure you that NONE of my teammates will be attending this event.  And, I'd be surprised if you get enough amazing, fast, dedicated, and awesome women to even pay 10 deep.

Shame on you. 

Happy Happy Joy Joy!

So, it's been a good couple of days.  Honestly!  It's been a while since my mood has been this good, and it has a lot to do with some seriously positive physical recovery!

I went to PT this morning, and my therapist was ALL smiles!  She was just elated about how I was looking and feeling.  It made me feel so good to know that I'm finally making serious and real progress.  I'm not in a lot of pain anymore - there's still some - but I realize that I am starting to forget that things hurt.  The hurt has also moved around a lot - it's not shooting down my leg into my ankle anymore.

What else happened this week to make things so awesome, you ask??

1.  Jim, Jeanne, and I got tickets to see the Killers in Atlantic City.  I know, I know... I've already gotten the stink eye from Mr. Porkchop several times... but, they're just so AWESOME!  And, the chance to see them in a small-ish venue is something I simply cannot pass up!

2.  We put the deposit down on the hall for my graduation party!  It's such a nice place and the folks that run it are truly awesome.  They're friendly, personable, and just genuinely excited to have us there.

3.  We sent out invitations for the party - and got our first RSVP today!

4.  I ordered my class ring!  When I was in high school, my mom gave me the option of getting a class ring or a letter jacket.  I was such a jock that I went for the letter jacket without a second thought.  I got another letter jacket in college, and decided that now was my chance.  I purchased a gorgeous silver ring engraved with - what else? - "Dr Porkchop" on the inside!  Photos will be posted when it arrives!

5.  I sold another photo - thus making the above ring purchase possible!!  I went in for acupuncture today and my large coastal photo of Hawai'i was hanging on the wall in it's 2 x 3 foot splendor.  When I came out of the session, it was gone and I was handed cash for the purchase!  I immediately said, "RING money!!"  Then, I came home and completed #4!

6.  I had to go in for a few extra scans after a questionable something or other was spotted on the MRI of my lower back.  I went in yesterday for the final test and it looks like it's nothing out of the ordinary after all.  This is a huge relief as the preliminary tests revealed possible malignancy.  HUGE sigh of relief!!

7.  I am feeling GOOD!  And, I am allowed to get on the bike tomorrow!  On the trainer, which isn't outside, but I'll take it.  If all continues to improve as it has recently, I'll be back out on the road next week.

Wow.  I continue to be unfalteringly grateful to my friends and family who have put up with me over the last few weeks.  I've been miserable, low, depressed, scared, and angry.  You never let me fall victim to those feelings - always making me giggle, letting me know that you're there, and just generally being the coolest, most awesomest, most fantabulous people I know.  Thank you.

And, to my friends racing Philly this weekend - good luck, kick some butt, I love you all... and be SAFE out there!! xoxo

Road to Recovery... headed WEST!

So, just in the last week or so (since The Killers concert), I've started feeling improvement in my hip/back issues.  Over the last few days, I've been doing a really strict series of exercises at home.  And, they've paid off.  The pelvic shift is nearly gone and it's allowing me to actually begin therapy on my back.  Core building is going well... it's my plan to have the six-pack abs I've always dreamed of.  I mean, if this back injury is going to rob me of yet another race season, I damn well better get something out of it, right?!?!

My whole mental state has improved of late, along with my physical state.  It's so much easier to smile and be happy when I'm only in pain for portions of the day and I can visibly see my body coming back to me.  I may even be able to sleep in bed with Mr. Porkchop again soon!  WAHOO!!

We have begun the planning stages for my graduation party!  I've been dreaming of this for a long time and we decided that we would just make it a big bash - rent a hall, roast a pig, and party hearty with friends and family.  After all, you only get your PhD once, right?!  Unless you get more than one... but, then you're just insane!

I've turned my attention away from the chapters themselves (which are safely in the hands of my committee members) to the abstract and the acknowledgments pages.  How, exactly, does one condense 200 pages of material and several years of research into a one-page abstract?  I have NO IDEA... but, I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Finally!!

So, about 6 months ago, I was very excited.  I woke up on a chilly December morning with the knowledge that I would be seeing the Killers in just a matter of hours.  Unfortunately, that very morning, we got the news that the show was canceled.  I was pretty devastated.  I've been waiting quite a few years to see them.  And, while my desire was temporarily quenched by going to see Brandon Flowers' solo tour, I knew that nothing would be quite the same as seeing the band in their complete glory.

The worst part was that it took about a month for them to announce the make up date... May 19th.  Oh, man...

Of course, to make matters even worse, I was going to have to fend off my body in order to enjoy the show - stupid back/hip issue!

Anywho...

The show was last night.  I've finally had the chance to see the Killers.  And, they were WELL worth the wait.  They were INCREDIBLE!  The set list was fantastic - with all of the expected big hits, a few tracks off of the new album, and even a surprise (for me) performance of Joy Division's Shadowplay.

On the whole, it was truly fantastic.  And, I was able to dance the night away without a on of pain in my hip and leg.  I'm a little sorer than normal this morning, but I'm off to PT in a few and I'm sure that all will be well.

I will definitely do whatever I can to see them again.  They truly were awesome!  Thanks for coming back 'round to see us, guys!

Turning the Corner

This week was rough.  I knew that it would be, but it's been tough.  I've had some MAJOR downs that were followed by incredible ups.  So, here's how it's gone... and here's where we are now...

It was my first week of summer classes - so I knew that I would be physically challenged by standing up for 3 hours a day to teach.  Tuesday was the roughest day of the week - when the pain and frustration had me at a total low point.

But, it began to turn around.  Wednesday was good.  Thursday was LONG.  I taught all morning and then had graduation at night.  Standing around in the robing area before walking into the gym for the ceremony was very tough.  Once I sat down, I regained my strength, and managed to walk across the stage without limping, without being bent over like an evil henchman, and with the exquisite joy of being hooded masking the pain in my hip and leg.

Friday had me going from doctor's appointment to doctor's appointment.  PT in the morning was followed by a visit to Imaging for a scan and acupuncture with Marnie in the afternoon.  By the end of the day, I was tired and achey, but feeling ok.

Saturday started well - we went to the Farmer's Market and bought some gorgeous golden beets and potatoes to roast.  I went out and did some shopping at the mall for some pants.  Ouch.  By the time I got home from that, I needed a nap.  I was in quite a bit of pain, but felt wonderful after waking up from my nap.

Today has started pretty well.  After doing my PT exercises, I'm a bit sore, but I'm planning a restful afternoon so that I can PARTY my butt off tonight at The Killers concert!

But, perhaps the best part, is this...For the first time in 4 weeks, I woke up STRAIGHT this morning!  My hips were nearly perfectly aligned.  I can feel it in my entire body.  They often speak of "turning a corner" in recovery.  I am really hoping that this weekend was my corner.

I am looking forward to spending the evening with my friends.  I am looking forward to the next week to see if I can keep turning corners and getting better.  Maybe getting back on the bike in June will be possible after all.  I'll have a LOT of catching up to do, but if I'm with my team... I know that I can do it!