Come on You SPURS!!

I woke up yesterday morning with a sore face.  Yes, you read that correctly.  My cheeks were killing me.  And, then I remembered why; I spent about 2.5 hours the evening before with the stupidest giant grin on my face.  I was sitting 8 rows from the pitch watching my favorite British soccer team play on NJ soil.  I simply couldn't stop smiling, even after they lost the match.  Boooooo!

I've been a Tottenham Hotspur fan for I don't even know how many years now.  Originally, they became "my" team because of this website.  Now, the description of the Spurs that appeared there many years ago was different than what you see today... naturally.  But, I remember it talking about their gumption and guts, their lack of swagger, and their raw talent.  And, it talked about their fans.  Loyal folks who stand by them whether they win or lose, play great or fumble around the pitch like their cleats are 7 sizes too big.  It was that description of loyalty that sounded to me like a Detroit Red Wings fan!  We love our wings, no matter what.  And, yes, Steve Yzerman IS the best captain the NHL ever saw.  Period.  Done.  End of argument.  (Don't even start with me, Mr. Porkchop!!)

Sitting in that stadium and watching these guys play was truly awesome.  After all, it may well have been (though I sincerely hope NOT) a once in a lifetime chance to see them play in person.  The stadium was primarily Spurs fans - maybe a 75-25 split? - so, it felt very much like being at a "home game."  That made it equally awesome - with the local Spurs club leading chants from the seats behind the goal and "Come on, you Spurs!" occasionally echoing through the stadium as a whole.

#33 - my favorite player, Ben Davies

#23 Christian Erickson... watching him play was AMAZING.  The guy is EVERYWHERE at once.  

Leaping up from my seat when the Spurs finally saw the back of the net was so awesome!  Even though a draw was thwarted by a pretty ugly goal by Roma with just a few seconds left to play, I cannot express how happy I was to have been there.  What a game!

A huge thanks goes out to my fellow match goers: Brian, Don, Bill, Rich, and Dexter.  Watching Dexter's eyes turn into saucers when he got 8 rows up from the pitch was amazing.  I am so glad that I shared that experience with all of you.

Live As You Wish To Live

Oscar Wilde once said, "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

I've been thinking about this lately.  Trying to make conscious efforts to allow those around me the space to live as they need to.  Trying to accept living the way that I need to.  And, seeing the beautiful places where those two things intersect, while accepting the locations where those two things diverge irrevocably.

We live in a curious world... where individuals are beholden to one another in a variety of ways.  Our lives come together in marriage, family, friendship, or vocation and we are asked to live together.  And yet, we are all distinct.  Separate.  Unique.

So, how do we balance that scale?  How do we ensure that we are living the life we want and need, but still respect, support, and fortify the lives of those around us?

While I'm certainly not suggesting that I have the answer, I do think that I've uncovered an answer.  So, here's my pseudo-philosophical view:

We DON'T balance the scale.  Because, here's the thing about all of those immutable intersections.  People always want to change them.  To change him.  Or her.  Or themselves.  But, it is precisely those moments of conflict that make life ours to live.  Letting the scale throw itself constantly out of balance, without losing sight of who we are, is the real challenge of life.

It's not to say that we need to have those people in our lives.  Sometimes they exist to show us who or what we are.  Just like that, they enter our lives, show us a truth about ourselves, and then exit. And, we must be grateful for that.

Other times, those who seem to be so directly opposite of us end up being those who mean the most.  They provide the song to which we never would have listened, but to which we now dance with absolute abandon.  And, we must be grateful for that.

In all of this, we must continue to live the life that we wish to live.  While we do, we must hope that others will share in that life.  In the way that they wish to live.

b. July 29, 1952 - d. July 4, 2017

Watching fireworks last night was not what it's been in the past.  As the rockets shot and the colors flared, a sight that historically plasters a stupid cheeky grin on my face, my eyes simply welled with tears.  The 4th of July is forever changed for us... for our family... it will now always be the day that Charlie left us.

Today still doesn't seem quite real.  The loss of my father in law is really just too great to fathom right now.  We had so many things we wanted to do.  So many things we wanted to SAY.  But, no time in which to do or say enough.

Still, I need to try to remember and hold onto everything that I can.

I need to remember how I felt the day that I realized I was dating "the Captain's son."  And, how scared I was of him at first!

I need to remember how he treated me like his daughter from DAY ONE.

I need to hold dear the way in which he welcomed me into his home - literally giving me a place to live every summer for 6+ years.

I need to bask in how he welcomed me into his family, how he cared so deeply about his son and about me to always be there for us.

I need to remember the sound of his voice when he'd walk into the room and say, "What's up, Bub?"

And even more the sound of him yelling, "Get your shit and GIT!" after morning roll call.

I need to hold close the eye rolls and silly grins and laughs and hugs.

I need to remember that so many of the things that were wonderful about Charlie exist in his son.

• Their FIERCE love and loyalty for their friends and families.  
• Their love of sports, sports history, and sports factoids.
• Their love of books - which they often shared back and forth.
• Their refusal to wear pants!  Who needs pants, when you have shorts???
• Their love of the beach and the water.
• Their dedication as coaches and teachers - changing the lives of kids who didn't have much, but who had desire and talent.
• The way that the are and were loved by SO many people.

And, some of the not-so-wonderful parts, too - the snoring for example, right, Debbie???

I know that our lives will never be the same, now that Charlie is gone.  But, I know that my life is better for having had him in it.  After all, he gave me my Chuck.  And, I can never thank him enough for that.

And, I will keep my final promise to him... I will take care of your boy, Chal.  Until my dying day.