Stop the Shaming, People

Opening disclaimer:  Some will call this whole post out as "shaming."  If I were calling out a particular person - or even a particular group - I'd probably agree.  But, I'm talking to all of us - even me.  So, if you want to consider it "shaming," please consider it "equal opportunity shaming," and read on.

I'm really not sure why this has become such a thing.  I imagine that, part of it, has to do with social media and the ability to say whatever comes to mind with very little concern for the person on the other side of the screen.  There's no doubt that the amount of meanness in contemporary culture is due to the interwebs and its veneer of anonymity.

But, the shaming.  What the hell is up with the constant public shaming of other people?

Vegans shaming omnivores for consuming flesh like monstrous creatures without a conscious.  Omnivores shaming vegans for eating cheese that isn't cheese.

Political opponents shaming one another for breathing.

Hell, I was even shamed this morning for swimming too well and "embarrassing" a woman who couldn't swim as well as me.  I seriously shit you not.

She actually used that phrase... she was embarrassed to be in the pool with me because I'm a good swimmer.

What the hell?

We need to reset ourselves here, people.  We need to stop thinking that our actions are the only ones that are acceptable.  Look, you wanna shame Nazis... GO FOR IT.  They're the slimiest monsters to have crawled out into our society since... well... the Nazis.  But, shaming someone because they use a plastic bag at the grocery store, or because they want to go work out?  Poor, Rock.  The guy just wanted to keep his abs from atrophying.  And, I'm sure that he spends plenty of time with his daughter.  But, one post about wanting to go work out and the world jumps on the poor guy's back.

Leave my Rock alone, people.  Srsly.

So... here's the thing...

I love meat.  So, if you're a person who thinks I'm evil because I like to eat chicken, and fish, and very rare beef, maybe you need to consider whether you treat other humans as well as you treat chickens, and fish, and beefs... I mean, cows.

Either way, until you've been religiously - or secularly - canonized and find yourself judged among the best of us on this planet, keep your shaming to yourself.

Closing Disclaimer: I will allow for one sort of shaming to continue until the end of days: dog shaming.  Because it's just adorably cute and hilariously funny.

Kthnxbai!

My Office

Every once in a while I stop and look around my office.  I'm surrounded by things that speak to my heart and my soul in various ways.  Things that would, if someone were so inclined, tell others a lot about who I am and who I want to be.  And, of course... it offers a lot about who has helped me move through this crazy life.

Just above my computer screen is this collection of items...

And the corner of my desk...

And sitting on my computer...

And hanging on my walls...

Take from these photos what you will... but, I'm surrounded by things that make me happy and proud.  Whether it's a photo of my students from the Study Abroad in London last summer, my protective Ganesha, posters made by students in my 205 class past, notes of thanks, or silly Funko Pop figures, each item in my office is a little piece of me.  And, I'm so grateful for each item around me.

If you want to know more about something in the photos - let me know and I'll give you the scoop! 

A Scottish Summer

Over the fall and winter, I worked on writing a proposal for an award from Phi Theta Kappa.  The Mosal Award - designed to support personal and professional development for an advisor to pursue some study - is something that I've applied for a few times.  But, this time, I felt much more confident.  I felt as though my proposal was strong, my rational was reasonable, and my project was intriguing. 

Luckily for me, the selection committee thought so, too!

At the International Convention in April, I was announced as the winner of the 2019 Mosal Award.  Holy moly!!!

What does this mean, you ask?

It means that in just a few short weeks, I will hop a plane across the pond to Scotland.  For a three week study of the people, history, culture, and geography of that amazing part of the UK. 

Even better - I'm taking my Mom with me!!  I can't wait (or, to practice my Scots - I canna wae) to share this with her and to explore this amazingly beautiful country.  

So, since April, I've been spending my time reading up on my Scottish history.  Which, by the way, is absolutely intriguing and enchanting.  And sad and tragic.  And glorious.  All at once.

I've booked all of our stays - Glasgow, Stirling, Oban, Carbost on Skye, Inverness, Gauldry, Edinburgh, and Renfrewshire - started to plan some of our outings - the Highland games in Luss, climbing Ben Lomond, drinking whiskey at the Macallan Distillery - and just generally loved staring at maps and pictures and such.

To have this opportunity is absolutely stellar.  The next step - about which I should hear news this week - would be to be approved to do a student Study Abroad in Scotland in 2020. 

In the meantime, I'll keep watching videos in the hopes of acclimatizing my ears to the Scottish brogue, and will get my camera cleaned up and read to take photos for three weeks straight.  In my dreams, I'll get at least a handful of photos as beautiful as this one....

52 Week Photo Challenge

Yesterday was my birthday. To be honest, I wasn't really looking forward to it. 41 is just a blah kinda year, the last few weeks have been pretty rough (emotionally and physically), and I was just feeling kind of stuck. 

But, in a wonderful turn of luck, two really significant things happened yesterday to start me on a different trajectory, to redirect my energy, to refocus my drive, and to generally get me out of the funk that was pervading my brain-hole.

Thing #1... I've been an athlete forever. Duh. But, I've also been a TEAM athlete forever.  So, I've always held fast to the importance of accountability. I need to be on my game because my TEAM needs me to be on my game. I need to be working hard, because my team needs me to show up at game time and be ready to rock. So, with the team aspect of my life having drifted away with the end of my cycling career, and my life schedule not being super conducive to the swim team opportunities that are around, I find myself struggling. Struggling for motivation, struggling for goal setting, and just basically finding excuses to skip out when I feel like it.

So... I found some accountability. I recently signed up for a program called My Peak Challenge that includes people from all over the world - with a nice solid cohort here in Philly (YAY!) - to encourage one another to set goals, meet goals, celebrate goals, and just be awesome.  Plus, they donate money to good causes and that always gives me the happies. I'm feeling good about having someone giving me nutritional guidance and workouts to do - even if I don't see that person on a daily basis, I feel accountable to the workout that they've given me. I'm excited to be in the pool, but also excited to get out of the pool and have structured opportunities to get back to the weight room and do other cardio. I'm hopeful that this more rounded physical endeavor will help me with the recurring back issues that pop up now and then. I'm just stoked. 

Thing #2... I've started a challenge with my Dad and Sara to get us behind our camera lenses more often.  We are embarking on a 52 Week Photo Challenge.  Each week, we will give ourselves a theme and get to work.  At the end of the week, we'll share our images and give ourselves some critiques.  I'm super excited to do this with my friend and with my dad. And, once again, the accountability of these other folks will keep me going.

So... My Peak Challenge for this year is physical, mental, emotional, and creative.  And, I'm excited to get the ball rolling. 

Let's do this, 2019! 

You're So Intense

I was described as "intense" today.  Twice.  Before 7am.

Both incidents occurred at the gym. 

One was by a woman in the locker room who claimed that because I don't engage in banter every morning with every person that walks in (yes, I'm being a bit sarcastic here), and because I have on my "game face" when I get ready to swim that I'm "really intense."  Ok... thanks for your input.

Then, in the middle of my workout, some guy comes over and says, "I really admire your intensity."  He went on to say that every time he sees me in the pool (which is not particularly often, I would note), he really sees me working hard and admires my intensity. 

Same dude later mansplained to me that I should be sure to include some easy workouts so that I don't overdo it.  (insert eyeroll here)

So, yeah... I guess I'm intense when I'm working out.  I am there to do a specific thing - exercise.  I'm not there to chit chat.  I'm not there to make friends - although I am friendly with some of the morning pool crew.  I'm not there to putz around and pretend to do stuff.  I know that there are a LOT of people who treat the gym as social time.  I don't.  So, I guess if that comes off as intensity, so be it. 

But, that word is definitely a trigger for me.  That phrase, "You're so intense" is not one that I feel is complimentary in any profound way.  It's a phrase that was thrown at me often when I was a younger human - more often than not as a criticism. 

"You're so intense, you need to relax." 
"You're so intense, why can't you just take it easy?"
"You're so intense, everything is not such a big deal."

"You're so intense...."

Here's the first thing... this word is perceptive.  It's how someone else sees me.  That can be really upsetting... especially when the suggestion underneath is that my "intensity" is read as "meanness."  I don't chit chat at the pool at 6am, so I must be a mean person.  Of course, these people don't know me from Eve... so, they're basing a personality trait judgment on whether or not I'm chatty at 6am at the gym.  (insert shoulder shrug here)

And, here's the other thing... I am intense.  To some extent.  We all are. 

I work out intensely.
I work intensely.
I compete intensely.

I also love intensely.
I also care intensely.
I also fight for what I believe in intensely.

So, I guess if my 6am swim practice game face is too intense for some folks, I'll just have to accept that.  I'll have to own it. 

And, as is apparently my tendency, I'll be sure to do so intensely. 

To Blave...

"Hey!  Hello in there.  What's so important?  What you go here that's worth living for?"

Miracle Max had a point, I think.  What are we doing here?  What's really pushing us along as we trundle through this thing called life?

There are often expressions of thanks at this time of the year... as we gather together with friends and family and stuff our faces with more carbs than we normally eat in an entire month.  As we look around the room at those we love, or maybe just like, or maybe not even like that much at all, but we feel grateful for them in one way or another.  They are a part of us.  A part of who we are.  A part of our life.

So, as I muddle my way through a few blissful days of vacation - letting the stress of a semester well fought slip away until I'm back on campus - I suppose I should add my thanks to those fluttering about in the world right now.

This year has been tough.  Then again, I feel like those words get uttered more and more as my years go on.  Maybe that's just the way of life... to be tough.  To be challenging.  To throw you curve balls more often than you'd like.  Just to ensure that you're still on the road to something, to somewhere, to someone?

Given all that's gone on in the last 12 months, I have this to say...

I'm forever thankful for my family.  My family by blood and my family by choice.  I'm honestly not quite sure where I'd be if not for the people that have surrounded me during my adult life.  They have kept me strong, kept me honest, kept me laughing, and kept me looking forward.  I am sometimes shocked, when I look around, to find that I've somehow been deemed worthy of having such people by my side.  I see in them all of the things that I hope to be: witty, caring, loyal, giving, wise, and loving.  I know that I'm not all of those things - none of us are - but, I'm grateful to those who patiently stand by me as I try to be.

I'm thankful for a roof over my head (even if it's a little leaky right now and in need of repair)!

I'm thankful for food on my table, kitties on my lap, and whiskey in my glass.

And, as always, I'm thankful for a partner who makes my days silly, my nights toasty warm, and my life better.

I wish everyone a beautiful Thanksgiving, a warm holiday season, and a wondrous new year!

I Fell In Love Three Times

It's another one of those posts where I'm challenged to explain what has happened in my life since my last post in May.  So... as is typical of my approach to this... here's a bunch of photos...

Just after finishing up with Masters Nationals in Indy, I got started on my summer...

I fell in love.  

With London.  As I fully expected I would.  For some reason, walking the streets of London, drinking in the pubs of London (especially Tottenham), and sitting in the sun with Simon, Emma, and the dogs feels right.  It feels like home.  It feels (as it has for so many years) like the place that I belong.  I miss England daily, now.  I count the seconds until I can get back there and explore beyond London.  I devise plans of varying sorts to get myself across the Atlantic to those beautiful islands off of the continent.  I will get back.  Soon, I'm sure.

I worked my way out to the west coast of the states again this summer!  I spent some time with Robin - eating watermelon in the California sun and just generally loving our time together.  I swam in the mornings at the Rose Bowl, and we got to watch my boys play a wonderful game against Barca at the Rose Bowl - a stadium that I've always wanted to visit.

 I fell in love again.


With my camera.  After borrowing a huge lens from an online site, I decided to turn the rental into a purchase and renewed my romance with my cameras.  I took a film photography class at school and spent many hours behind the lens in London, Florida, NJ, PA, Maryland, Virginia, and California.  Falling in love with that mode of vision again was fabulous.

I completed something that I always wanted to do when I took my motorcycle safety course and got my endorsement.  Led by two AMAZING coaches, I finished my weekend class feeling ready to get on a bike and ride.

And, thus... I fell in love AGAIN.

This time with a silver haired beauty who now lives in my garage.  Liath and I have already had some lovely voyages together - out to the pine barrens, up to the Jersey coast, and even over the bridge into Philly.  I look forward to so many miles with this lovely lady.

So, it's been quite a thing... these last few months.  There have been some "downs" - of course.  Losing people that I love, losing faith in certain others, general anxiety about where I'm going as an individual and where we are going as a larger cohort.  But, I'm lucky to spend every day with amazing colleagues, fabulous students, a wonderful partner, and true friends who remind me that the struggles are what makes a post like this - abounding with love - possible.