Claustrophobia...

So, I scheduled my MRI yesterday.  The scan will occur on Tuesday.  I'm anxious for it, obviously.  Not just because of the variety of results that might come my way, but because I am mildly claustrophobic.

Ever since the woman on the phone asked me, "Are you claustrophobic?" And, I responded, "Mildly." I've been thinking this over.  I've been trying to remember the first time that I felt that irrational fear of small spaces.

I was in elementary school.  On the playground, we had these huge truck tires, painted bright colors, and partially buried in the ground.  We used to play on top of them, but we could also squeeze inside of them. As I recall, this was often a place for kids to tell secrets, share secrets, spill secrets, or talk about boys.

One day, as I was squished into the tire, one of the other kids blocked the exit way.  I was trapped.  I remember pushing on my captor, trying desperately to get out of the tire.  And then, the panic hit.  I was completely overwhelmed by the feeling that I was going to DIE in the tire.  That I was going to lose my mind and, at the least, TEAR my way out of this confined space.

And then, the other kid moved, I was free, and the panic dissipated as quickly as it had arrived.

To this day, I remember the feeling that I had.  To this day, I can't be confined in a tight space unless I am certain that I can get out.  So...this brings me to the MRI situation.

I'm hoping that because I am voluntarily entering this situation, because I trust the people sending me into the enclosed space, because I know that it is temporary and that there is an escape, I'm hoping that I will not freak out.  Fingers crossed for no freak outs and for some results that either clear me for physical therapy and recovery, or identify a fixable injury.

Better cross your toes, too!!!