Friends of mine recently began a monthly "family dinner." Unlike other families... ours is a family by choice. A small group of friends who sit down to a dinner monthly that includes some rather intense moments of sharing that is based on a theme suggested by one of the participants.
This past month, I suggested a topic for our evening... "Ways in which we are honest or dishonest with ourselves."
I suggested it because it's been something that I've been working on with myself lately.
The first step for me was admitting that though this race season was the best of my career so far, it came at a price. And, the price was some physical challenges related to my back injury of a few years back. About two weeks ago, I became VERY honest with myself and said, "the season is OVER. STOP racing and focus on healing what's ailing." Of course, that was closely followed by being honest with my coach and my team. I happily stepped into my role as DS for the team and have stayed largely off the bike for the past few weeks.
But, I think it goes far deeper than that... it's so easy to lie to yourself. About SO many things. And, I acknowledge that it's a technique of self-preservation that, as human beings, we desperately need. But, there are moments when we needlessly fall back on the dishonesty in order to avoid the truth... which is not really cool.
I'm working hard to be more honest with myself. And, in turn, I'm finding that it's a lot easier to be honest with my partner, my teammates, my colleagues, etc.
Don't get me wrong... this is NOT easy. If there's one person in the world who really wants to believe my lies... it's ME. So, trying to break down those walls is tough.
Luckily, I have an amazing crew of peeps, a wonderful partner, and the desire to undertake the project.
No comments:
Post a Comment