A friend said to me today, "I'm worried that you're too stressed. You need to take care of yourself, you know." My response was something along the lines of, "Gee...you think?" And to think that this person really only knows the half of it.
It's been a very long time since I felt this...confined. I am confined by my life right now and it is horrifying. I find myself stuck in the same conversations, the same routine, the same arguments, dealing with the same issues, over and over and over. Trapped and unable to get out until I begin to peel away the layers that are keeping me caged, I have no choice but to deal.
This is what I told my friend. I said, "What am I supposed to do? I have responsibilities, I have things that I need to do. If I don't do them, who will? If I don't study, no one is going to do it for me." But, this is why I am trying to do things like my acupuncture treatments (which have really helped my mood) and meditation (just to have some "me" time). Still, I am suffering. To put it plainly. I am suffering, my life is suffering, and I don't like it.
I just pray that whatever outcome occurs in the next couple of weeks, I can get my life back. I want to stop suffering. And I certainly want my life to stop suffering. It doesn't feel good.
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