Live As You Wish To Live

Oscar Wilde once said, "Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live."

I've been thinking about this lately.  Trying to make conscious efforts to allow those around me the space to live as they need to.  Trying to accept living the way that I need to.  And, seeing the beautiful places where those two things intersect, while accepting the locations where those two things diverge irrevocably.

We live in a curious world... where individuals are beholden to one another in a variety of ways.  Our lives come together in marriage, family, friendship, or vocation and we are asked to live together.  And yet, we are all distinct.  Separate.  Unique.

So, how do we balance that scale?  How do we ensure that we are living the life we want and need, but still respect, support, and fortify the lives of those around us?

While I'm certainly not suggesting that I have the answer, I do think that I've uncovered an answer.  So, here's my pseudo-philosophical view:

We DON'T balance the scale.  Because, here's the thing about all of those immutable intersections.  People always want to change them.  To change him.  Or her.  Or themselves.  But, it is precisely those moments of conflict that make life ours to live.  Letting the scale throw itself constantly out of balance, without losing sight of who we are, is the real challenge of life.

It's not to say that we need to have those people in our lives.  Sometimes they exist to show us who or what we are.  Just like that, they enter our lives, show us a truth about ourselves, and then exit. And, we must be grateful for that.

Other times, those who seem to be so directly opposite of us end up being those who mean the most.  They provide the song to which we never would have listened, but to which we now dance with absolute abandon.  And, we must be grateful for that.

In all of this, we must continue to live the life that we wish to live.  While we do, we must hope that others will share in that life.  In the way that they wish to live.