Chlorinated Piggy

So, with my cycling career having ended... many of you know that I've turned back to the water for physical mental health.  And, things have been going so very well.  I'm feeling great and really loving being in the water.  But, I still felt as though I needed a goal.  Some particular thing to work towards... to keep my intention directed.  So, I decided to sign up for a meet.  

Today was my first swim meet in 17 years.  I was nervous enough in signing up early in February that I only signed up for three very short events... the 50 Fly, 50 Free, and 100 IM.  When the day finally arrived, I was happy that I had selected those events, but also a bit bummed that I hadn't had a bit more confidence in myself and signed up for a few longer events (the 200 IM? 200 Free? 100 Fly?).  Alas... I was resolved to put everything that I had into those races and have fun!

Warm up was much as I remembered.  A gaggle of swimmers all piled into lanes laughing as they attempted to do a few laps and get ready.  The sprint lanes opened, and I got a few starts under my belt.  For some reason, going off the block after all these years just felt natural.  I was feeling ready.

The 50 Fly was my first race.  As I remembered from years ago, the butterflies in my stomach disappeared as soon as I stepped on the block.  A few shakes of the arms, a "Take Your Mark," and we were off.  I felt surprisingly smooth and strong during this first race.  Perhaps a little too smooth.  After I hit the wall, I realized that I probably could have put a bit more into it - but, I think I was worried about blowing up, so I raced a bit on the conservative side.  Alas... I was THRILLED with a 30.13 and a National Cut!  I'm convinced that I can break 30 seconds... maybe next time.

The 50 Free came next and I was excited for it.  Definitely NOT my strong suit (sprint freestyle), but I wanted to just keep my form together and use my legs to power through.  My turn was CRAPTASTIC - and I'm sure it cost me a few tenths - but, I finished strong and looked up to see a 28.35 on the board!!  WHAT???  I was just hoping to get below 30!  A 28 was really awesome to see. And, I found out later that it, too, was a National cut.

Finally, the one I was most excited for... the 100 IM!!  It was SO FUN!  I took my fly all out this time... no skimping.  My turn to backstroke was rough - tons of water up my nose.  But, I held it together and had a solid turn from back to breast.  My splits were really solid, and I was again surprised and happy to hit the wall and see a 1:10.37 on the board.  Nearly 3 seconds under the National cut for that event!

WHAT???  Three races... three cuts?  No way.

I had an amazing time at the event.  I met some awesome people, was invited to check out a few different teams, which I probably will do, and was inspired by amazing stories of perseverance.

Like this lady - Joan Waldbaum... 85 years old.  She raced the 100 IM in the heat before me.  She has survived pancreatic cancer and is currently on hospice care for stage 4 cancer.  She inspired an entire natatorium with every kick and was honored with a lifetime achievement award after the meet.  I feel utterly grateful for having met her today.  And, I will carry her amazing spirit with me everywhere I go.

As a testament to how nice people are, I was able to get my events filmed!  So, here's a little video for you to watch!  Whee!!

Busy Little Porkchop

To say that the last month has been a whirlwind would be an understatement.

On January 27th, I was overwhelmed by the fact that Trump had only been in office for 7 days, but it felt like 7 years.  I was overwhelmed by social media and the simultaneously awesome outpouring of solidarity and cries for action and the horrendous inundation with new articles about the administration's actions that just made me sick to my stomach.

So, I took some time away... I needed to detox.  To focus on my own life for a bit without the shadow of politics over me.  It was a good week and it's helped me to manage the tide of crap.  Still... I find myself amazed, disturbed, and utterly disgusted at the current state of our political affairs.

Alas... I don't really want this post to be about that.  I want it to focus on the things that I feel good about....

Like being a panelist today at an event organized to bring the students, faculty, and staff at the college together for a discussion about common goals in a time when our contract negotiations look bleak and we're being asked to make sacrifices that are above and beyond that which any reasonable person would agree to.

Like presenting at the Nineteenth Century Studies Association at 8am on a Thursday to a full room and getting some great questions and feedback on my paper.

Like being elected to the board of the NCSA and getting our undergraduate poster session approved for next year's conference!

Like organizing an "out of class" session with my Honors students to work on how one can positively engage in political discourse.  And, being trusted by the students to do this with integrity, fairness, and positivity.

Like nurturing new friendships that are truly special in a variety of ways.  And, continuing to work on current friendships that mean the world to me.

Like swimming my butt off most mornings at 6am... feeling strong and healthy and great.  And, looking to actually sign up for a swim meet in the next couple of months!!

Like buying tickets to a host of upcoming music events because I simply adore the experience of live music.  The Old 97s, The Killers, and U2.  And, that's just the start of it.

Like embracing the daily events that make me feel effective, competent, and appreciated.  And, knowing that the future holds a true array of amazing opportunities.

I'm so grateful to the people in my life right now... you know who you are.  You make my daily existence better in fully tangible ways, and encourage me to be better.  A better teacher, a better friend, a better partner, a better person, a better Porkchop.

Thank you.

And So 2017 Begins

The year of the Rooster.  Not just the Rooster, but the FIRE Rooster!

Let's hope that it's a good one for all.

For my part, I will work on mindfulness, positivity, and being a better Porkchop today than I was yesterday.  I aim to keep my emotions in check, not let silly things frustrate me, and generally work harder to be constructive with my energy.

Oh, and I'm gonna swim... I'm gonna swim A LOT.  Because it's fun... and I like it.

And, I hope to get back on the bike soon.  Because I love it.  And, I miss my two-wheeled friends!

Happy New Year, All!

And, as the Irish say:

“In the New Year, may your right hand 

always be stretched out in friendship 

and never in need.”

My Birthday Wish

Here's the thing... I'm a pretty boring person, really.

I've not had any momentous tragedy take place in my life.  I've not been diagnosed with any diseases that House would be unable to diagnose.  I've not made any momentous discoveries or world-changing actions.  The hurdles in my life have been relatively short in stature and I've just chugged along.  And, my impact on the world around me has been the best I can do... but, it's not much.

I'm just a Community College Professor of Art History.  Zzzzzz....

I'm just a washed up elite amateur cyclist with a few amazing photos from Worlds in Richmond.  woo hoo.

I'm just a silly old lady with a wish for my 40th birthday (which is still a year away, mind you).

I want to meet U2.

That's right.  I said it.

Now, if I did have one of those issues in paragraph one, I could probably come up with a good reason for them to give me the time of day... kinda like these people... (good job, kids!!).

But, all I have is this:

When I was 10 years old, I *borrowed* my older sister's tape deck and music and stumbled upon The Joshua Tree for the first time.

My world was changed.  And, I mean that literally.

My eyes and my heart were opened to music and they've never been closed again.

The guitar and bass riffs of those songs still give me the chills, Bono's raspy lyrical genius has made most other music meaningless, Larry Mullen Jr.'s drumming is exquisite, and quotes from the Rattle and Hum film still find their way into my daily life.

The first time I scored tickets to a U2 concert, my heart raced for 5 minutes (I was 14).  And, that was just when I was on the phone with TicketMonster.

Yes, it was long enough ago that the InterWebs didn't even exist and tickets were scored by sleeping outside a ticket window all night or desperately hitting redial on the phone until you got through!!

The show itself was a glamorous display of campy satire and musical brilliance.

There have been distinctive highs in my love for this band - discovering the War and October albums for the first time, hearing "40" live, listening to U2 as the plane touched down in Shannon and pretty much non-stop for the entire 10 days that we drove around Ireland, and realizing 15 years later that "With or Without You" being my high school boyfriend and my "song" was really quite fitting.

And, despite my husband's disagreement on this one, I've always admired Bono's use of his visibility to try to make a difference in the world.

So, I've got about 385 days to figure out how to make my 40th birthday dream come true.

Any assistance that you folks out there can give would be great.

And... go!

Mindfulness

Mindfulness.

This is a topic that has been popping up in my life quite a bit lately.  At work, at home, as I shop for Christmas gifts for my family, as I re-evaluate my own life, and as I contemplate my next "moves."

But, what the hell is it? 

Mindfulness... you may hear this word more in certain circles than others.  I imagine a CEO of a Fortune 500 hears this quite a bit less often than an educator. 

And, what a shame. 

For, though many will deem "mindfulness" some hippy dippy liberal hogswash (and, maybe it is), I believe that it's a fundamental and significant aspect of the human condition that has - of late - been challenged, undercut, and generally deleted from daily practice on a somewhat global scale.

After all... there's nothing particularly mindful about shooting off "tweets" or Facebook posts at all hours of the day with whatever thought appears within your brain in response to every instantaneous external event. 

There's nothing particularly mindful about seeing your way as the only right way and everyone else as "wrong."

There's nothing particularly mindful about bullying those around you for the sake of seeing them squirm under uncomfortable conditions.

There's nothing particularly mindful about crashing your way through your life like a bull in a china shop with no regard for the china, the shop, or anyone else you may plow over on your way to whatever you believe is at the other end of your journey.

And, yet... that's where we seem to be as a culture.  Wandering around with a complete lack of mindfulness.

And, I am just as guilty of lacking mindfulness at various times in my life.

So, I've been working on it.

I've been spending a bit of time each day thinking about things that I'm thankful for, considering how I walk through my day - who I encounter, how I encounter them, missteps I've made, successes I've had, and what goals I want to see achieved.  And, when I consider each of those things, I'm trying to view the whole picture... see the periphery and the margins as well as the bulk of the central scene.  Trying to imagine the ripple effect of my decisions and how they impact others as they pulse outward from my central point of action.

This doesn't necessarily mean that I don't DO the thing I need/want to do.  It just means that I'm thinking beyond the immediate.  I'm considering the impact beyond the now, beyond the me, beyond the THIS... to the THAT.

And, it's damn hard.  But, I feel that just makes it all the more necessary. 

So, I'll continue to practice mindfulness in my own way... in the hopes that the ripple effect that I can achieve will be one in which my impact on others is positive, thoughtful, careful, and kind. 

And So It Goes

Today was my 6 week follow up with the surgeon.

All is well.

Really.

My healing is going just fine, and he's happy with how things are looking at this time.

BUT.

Yep, you knew that was coming...

He's asked me to be very cautious.  He's implored me to be careful, to not push too much, to let the healing continue at a steady pace and to make sure that I allow that to happen so that we can avoid a return trip to sleepy town.  He's asked me to really thoughtfully consider my activities and how they impact my back and my physical well-being.

As such, it's finally time to pay the piper.

It is with a truly heavy heart that I have to face the reality that my bike racing career is over.

No, you didn't misread that.  And, I didn't mistype.

I'm retiring from racing.

It's been a glorious run for someone who didn't start racing a bike until she was 27.  I literally achieved every goal I had ever wanted - except for one, and I got really darn close to that one, too.

- I raced at the Liberty Classic and numerous other professional events.
- I won the state title in road, crit, and TT at the Elite and Masters levels.
- I won at least one mass-start race every season of my career.
- I brought home a medal from Nationals
- I got my Cat 1 upgrade
- I raced for three amazing teams over a 10 year span - each with its own unique and wonderful personality and within which I was able to grow as a person, as a teammate, and as an athlete

More important than any of that, I made some amazing friends through this sport.  People that I truly can say have changed my life.  They have helped me become the person that I am today and have loved me because of (not in spite of) my flaws and my quirks.

I will miss racing.  There's no doubt about that.  It's been a huge part of who I am for years.  But, I'm also looking forward to the next phase of my life... filling Mr. Porkchop's weekends with adventures!!

To all who I've met along the way... thank you for touching my life and making this post so difficult to write.

Thankful For So Much

As we near the end of November, which has been a month of truly amazing ups and terrifyingly awful downs, I am urging myself to look upon the Thanksgiving season with a sense of gratitude.  And, as such, I feel a strong need to express that gratitude here... for whoever reads this nonsense!

I am grateful for my freedom.  Grateful to be a member of the citizenry of the United States, which I believe has been and will continue to be a bastion for freedom and equality of many kinds.  I'm under the belief that this freedom and equality is currently under attack, but that the spirit of America will prevail and that we will not falter in pursuing the implementation of our modern interpretation of the belief that all men are created equal.

I am grateful for my friends and family.  The last 6 weeks have been a trial for me in terms of my well being, both physical and mental.  When you are truly down and getting up does not seem easy or possible, it's then that those who truly love you show their colors.  They babysit you when you can't do for yourself (for one day or for two weeks!), they bring you food, they swing by simply to make you smile, they give you silly socks with images of raining cats and dogs... they call, they text, and they remind you that you do not have to "get up" on your own.  They remind you that they are there to help you and that getting up with their help will be a lot easier - not to mention a hell of a lot more fun!

I am grateful for the life that I have been fortunate enough to build.  I've found an amazing partner, a job that is truly fulfilling and challenging, and several communities of like-minded people who continue to show me that anything is possible.  Whether it's keeping an animal shelter up and running, bringing a block-long "downtown main street" back to life with local business and community, or brainstorming sanity and action in a politically turbulent moment, I'm lucky to be surrounded by people that I admire and appreciate.

I am grateful for the many fighters and allies that have come before us.  We may not know what the future holds, but we are starkly aware of the past.  As such, we have exceptional models for how to engage, behave, and enact change.  May we never, as a free people, cease to fight against injustice, bigotry, hatred, and fear.

May you all find peace and gratitude at your dinner table during this Thanksgiving season.

I am with LOVE

This is, I think, my first "political" post.  Ever.  But, don't worry... it will not really be about politics and it will not be a hate-filled rant.  In fact, I would beg my friends, family, and those I don't know to avoid hate at this unbelievably important moment.  Though, in my heart of hearts, I worry that for some people this isn't possible. 

This post is about love.  And hope.  And overcoming the unbearable sadness, fear, and anxiety that currently floods my soul.  And, it's about the love that I'm desperately going to search out and grow in my heart, even though it's currently hiding away somewhere.  I must find it. 

I must grab hold of that love for myself and my future as a woman in a society that has gestured toward a huge leap backward in terms of women's rights.

As an intellectual in a society that fears intelligence and education.

As a friend and ally to every person that I encounter regardless of race, creed, religion, gender, sexuality, and, yes, even political leaning, in a society that has increasingly and openly displayed hatred and fear and violence toward "others". 

As a person who believes in the betterment of our world through kindness, consideration, tolerance, and love in a society that currently wants to divide human beings into categories of differentiation. 

As an Aunt to beautiful nieces and nephews whose future relies upon our making fair and smart choices in a society that seems to offer fewer and fewer options for doing so. 

Please know that this is not an attack on any one person or any one party or any one anything. 

This is not a post about me being right and someone else being wrong. 

This is not a post where I say that I hate the people who don't agree with me... that I hate those that think opposite to me. 

I don't hate you. 

I LOVE you. 

All I ask is that you love me, too.  And her.  And him.  And them.  And us. 


I'm not sure what the next few days or months or years or decades have in store for us.  I'm not sure what they would have had in store for us had the election gone differently.  I imagine the division of our nation's people would still exist and hatred would still be brewing, just in a different way.  And, I believe that it would have surfaced in a more dangerous way - those telling me now to "shut the hell up and deal with it" would, I think, have a hard time doing that if the cards had fallen differently.  And, it's this expression of anger and dominance that I want to fight. 

In truth, I don't know how to do that... any more than the female suffragists initially knew how to fight for the vote or Rosa Parks knew how to fight for her seat on a bus.  But, they figured it out, and so shall we.  I believe that we can recover the love that I believe exists in my fellow people.  Unfortunately, for now, all I can see from my seat on the bus is anger, hatred, boisterous arrogance, fear, and unbearable sadness.  None of this is going to help us recover.  None of this is going to help us survive.  None of this is going to help us move forward.

We are at a scary tipping point in our world.  We can either allow hatred and fear and power to threaten the freedoms that we, as a country and as a people, have held so dear, or we can fall victim to the divisive nature of history's mistakes. 

And, to those who say that this isn't about hate.  Please come to my classes, or those of my colleagues, and tell that to the students who fear that they will be deported, those that have asked us if they should "go home" because they are not welcome here, those who are AFRAID for their LIVES because the rhetoric of this political moment has been telling them that if they are different (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, etc.) they should be afraid not just for their rights but for their LIVES.  Please tell me how that is not about fear-mongering and hate.  Please tell them, because I am unable to do so.

And, to those that will say that I'm overreacting.  I truly hope that you're right.  I pray that now that this bitter and spite-filled election is over, our leaders and our people will find some semblance of sense and caring and consideration for others and find a way to bring our nation back together.  I truly hope for that.

As hard as it is for me right now, and as much as I want to bury my head in the sand and cry for the loss of social growth and maturity that has been an amazing part of our GREAT country, I will not.  I will simply tell myself and those around me over and over and over....

I am with LOVE.
I am with LOVE.  
I am with LOVE.
I am with LOVE. 
I am with LOVE.

Radio Silence

My apologies for the radio silence of late.  Much has happened since my last post and it's been both good and bad.

After much pain.  Much, much, much, pain.  ALL of the pain... I went in for another surgery on my back.  My disk had reherniated and the injury was not responding to therapy and the agony was simply too much to bear. So, I went back under the knife.

I'm glad that I did it because the pain was relieved immediately post-op.  I'm already back on my feet and back to work (just two weeks post surgery) and feeling good.  I'm still taking it very easy (don't worry, Mom!!!), but I'm amazed at the improvement so far.

While a lot of people are asking me about the future and what I will or won't be doing with myself, I'm not really thinking about that just yet.  My mind is focused on healing and strengthening.  I go back to the surgeon for a follow up in another 4 weeks... I imagine we'll have "the talk" then about what limitations I'm facing going forward.

For now... I'm grateful for the notes, calls, texts, meals, visits, and support that I've received from friends, family, and colleagues.  Thank you SaraB for babysitting me the day after surgery when Mr Porkchop had to go to work.

And, I cannot in any way shape or form thank my dear Mr. Porkchop for his love and support and my Momma Porkchop for flying out to be my caretaker over the last two weeks. The road to recovery was so much smoother with you around.  Plus, we just have a damn good time together.  Thanks, Momma!!!!

The Importance of Being Honest

Friends of mine recently began a monthly "family dinner."  Unlike other families... ours is a family by choice.  A small group of friends who sit down to a dinner monthly that includes some rather intense moments of sharing that is based on a theme suggested by one of the participants.

This past month, I suggested a topic for our evening... "Ways in which we are honest or dishonest with ourselves."

I suggested it because it's been something that I've been working on with myself lately.

The first step for me was admitting that though this race season was the best of my career so far, it came at a price.  And, the price was some physical challenges related to my back injury of a few years back.  About two weeks ago, I became VERY honest with myself and said, "the season is OVER.  STOP racing and focus on healing what's ailing."  Of course, that was closely followed by being honest with my coach and my team.  I happily stepped into my role as DS for the team and have stayed largely off the bike for the past few weeks.

But, I think it goes far deeper than that... it's so easy to lie to yourself.  About SO many things.  And, I acknowledge that it's a technique of self-preservation that, as human beings, we desperately need.  But, there are moments when we needlessly fall back on the dishonesty in order to avoid the truth... which is not really cool.

I'm working hard to be more honest with myself.  And, in turn, I'm finding that it's a lot easier to be honest with my partner, my teammates, my colleagues, etc.

Don't get me wrong... this is NOT easy.  If there's one person in the world who really wants to believe my lies... it's ME.  So, trying to break down those walls is tough.

Luckily, I have an amazing crew of peeps, a wonderful partner, and the desire to undertake the project.

There's No "I" in TEAM

I've been a "teammate" for as long as I can remember.  As a soccer player, as a cross-country runner, as a swimmer, and as a cyclist... I was always a "teammate," never just an athlete on a team.

To me, it's one of the best things to be.  It allows you to become better by surrounding yourself with those that bring you up.  It allows you to become better by focusing on bringing others around you to another level of success.  And, most important, perhaps... it makes life fundamentally better to be around people who have your back in the truest sense.

As the Olympics continue on and athletes (often seen as individual competitors) try to perform to their highest level, I am reminded that "team" is a word that some simply don't understand.  And, to be honest... this makes me sad.  Sad for those people who just don't get it.

Sad for someone who looks at a young female athlete and says, "Cycling isn't a team sport." To me, this may be one of the most inane and ridiculous things I've ever heard someone say.  I guess that person never saw this...

https://www.facebook.com/VW/videos/10157244242760790/

...where the first words out of the mouth of the National Champion of the US is "Cycling IS such a team sport."

But, I guess if you're not a "teammate," it's hard to understand these things.  If you're not a "teammate," you don't SEE what others do for you.  If you're not a "teammate," you only see what you do... and think that's all that happened to achieve success.  If you're not a "teammate," you don't truly understand sacrifice and therefore cannot understand how someone else would sacrifice for your success.  If you're not a "teammate..."  well, you're just not a "teammate."

And, for some people, I'm sure that's a wonderful thing to be... "not a teammate."  For now.  But, the funny thing is... LIFE is about being a "teammate."

I am my husband's "teammate."  We are in this life together and our partnership makes our life successful.

I am my family's "teammate." We are stuck with each other forever and must be on the same team to ensure the success of our family - our parents, our kids, their kids, etc.

I am my coworkers' "teammate."  If I drop the ball, everyone suffers and is impacted.

I am my friends' "teammate."  If I fail to support them when they need me, then I'm no sort of friend at all.

I am my teammates' "teammate."  They count on me to do my job to the best of my ability so that they can better do theirs!

Considering all of this, how can every sport not be about TEAM?

http://www.teamusa.org/News/2016/August/14/For-US-Swimmers-Team-Effort-Brought-Stunning-Success-In-An-Individual-Sport

Considering all of this, how can every aspect of life not be about TEAM?

The best part of all of this?  We most often get to choose our teammates!!  It's our opportunity to be surrounded by amazing people.  Our chance to dedicate ourselves to those that we care deeply about and who share our desire to achieve greatness together.  Our chance to assemble our very own "Dream Team."

So, choose your "teammates" wisely, people... and know that in the end... very few will care about what you did on your own, they will actually care about the good you did for those around you.  The good you did for the "teammates" of your life.

No Bikes... This Time

I'm going "home" to see my brother and his family soon.  I'm going to see my niece and nephew for the first time in way too many years.  I'll admit it... I'm a little nervous about it.  It was easy when they were tiny... kids at that age either love you to pieces or scream bloody murder if you look at them!  Now, these kids are actually little people that will look at me and think, "What a DORK." or "Gee... our Aunt Porkchop is kinda cool."

I know that our other nieces and nephews think those things simultaneously, so it's not like I'm rooting for one or the other.

OK - I'm lying.... I TOTALLY want to be the cool Aunt.

Right?  I mean... SERIOUSLY, who doesn't want to be the cool Aunt.  The one that isn't totally like a grown up.  The one that gets really into some of the same things that you're into.  The one that does cool stuff like race bikes (oh, wait.... I said this one wouldn't be about bikes...).  SRSLY... I hope I'm the cool Aunt.

But, more than anything, I want to get to know who these little people have become.  And, get a sense for who they might turn out to be in the long run.  I'm really excited to get to spend time with them.  I'm excited to hear about soccer and cheerleading and school and their friends and all of that good stuff.

And, I just hope that they are equally excited to hang out with their Dorky/Cool Aunt.

The Good, The Bad, and The Absolutely Adorable

The Good:

The last few weeks since Fitchburg have been pretty amazing, despite some physical setbacks and a few more trips to see Paul at Specialized Physical Therapy than I would like.  I mean, I LOVE seeing you, man... but... can't we just go out for beers or something?!?!  ;)

I took another win at Greentree.  It was a small field, but it was a fun race and, as always.. I just love racing on my home course.

The Giro went pretty well.  I ended up taking the win in the TT and going almost 2 minutes faster than last year.  Man... I just LOVE my TT bike!! I got to wear the leader's jersey at the start of the crit, which was pretty amazing.   The crit and road race were difficult for me in terms of positioning.  The field seemed very sketchy and with the Fitchburg crash still fresh in my mind, I just couldn't get myself to push out my elbows and noodle my way in there.  I was 8th in the crit and 7th in the road race.  I managed to hold on to 4th in the GC and Deborah was 5th by the end of the weekend, and we won the Team GC also!  Wow.

I snagged another TT win at the Honoring Sandrino's Sacrifice TT.  A bit faster than last year, where I was 3rd in the Women's Open... I got to stand on the podium with a teammate this year.  That's just such a good feeling.

Deborah and Gabby and I took to the line at the Grandview Grand Prix (which was also the PA State Crit Championships).  Our plan was simple, get Deborah to the line 1st for the win.  I was super confident in her ability to outsprint the field, but still wanted to be there to give her the best leadout I could.  That didn't really go to plan.  I launched an attack - with the intention of getting the other sprinters to chase - with about 12 to go.  After one lap up the road, they called a prime.  So, I decided to just stay out for that.  By the time I came through that lap, I had a huge gap and was out of sight.  My inner monologue began... "I should sit up and go back.  No... Deborah would want you to stay out for the win.  No, no, no... your job is back there... go back.  No, no... the WIN!"  It was one of the few times I wished we had race radios and I could have gotten the ok from her.

In the end, I stayed away to take the win.  And, much to my joy and happiness, Deborah crushed the sprint for 2nd place on the day AND the Championship.  PHEW!!  In the end, though our tactics changed... the result was wonderful!

The Bad:

There's really not too much bad to discuss, actually!  I mean, I could... but, why bother?  I'm in a place now where I simply don't have the time or the desire to expend energy on negative people or bad stuff.  So, I shall simply move on from this to the last one.

The Absolutely Adorable:

Well... there's this.

And this...

And, this...

So proud of my teammate Danielle... who saw a move happening and got in on it, which took her to a 3rd place finish at the Freedom Tour yesterday.  It was so fantastic to get to see the Cat 4 women race and cheer them on... our races are often timed in such a way that we can't cheer for one another very easily, but this race was a perfect opportunity.  And, I'm so glad we were there to watch her have such an amazing race.  BRAVO, Danielle!!!  :)

Fitchburg

There have been a lot of ups for me this season.  It's been a year when things have really gone my way in a lot of ways - and I'm VERY happy with it all.  I'm also very excited about the rest of the season and even next year already.  In short, I'm super stoked about racing bikes and doing my thang out there.

Fitchburg last year was awesome.  Deborah, Meredith, Beth and I went up and just had a blast racing against a strong field of women.

This year, Fitchburg was a blend of great and magnificently craptastic.

The team did beautifully this year - me, Deborah, Gabby, and Emily went up and knotched a top 10 finish in each of the three days of racing.  We worked hard, we pushed limits, we fell down and got back up, we had fun.

But, it was cruddy for me.  The first night was great - I felt tired from a long day in the car, but my legs came around and I was able to do some good work at the front, launch some attacks, chase some breaks, and still sprint for the line.

Saturday started out great - my legs were feeling good and I was pumped for another decent finish.  But, the field was SKETCHY.  REALLY SKETCHY.  Riders making silly moves up the gutters into the curbs, bad cornering skills that weren't smooth, lots of surging of pace without stringing things out enough.  I became nervous and just after a corner that we'd done 23 previous times and approximately 2 seconds after saying to Gabby, "We need to move up," it happened.  We were on the ground.

I bounced up pretty quickly, but knew that I had gone down hard and bruised my right side pretty much from hip to shoulder.  I managed to get back in and finish, but the damage was done.  I'd been hit by a concrete truck and that wasn't going to feel so good in the morning.

Sunday's race came and I was shocked to even feel like I could get on the bike.  In fairness, swinging my leg over was a little challenge, but once I was on, pedaling wasn't so bad.  My legs felt super heavy, and my brain was still worried about the sketchiness of the some of the riders in the field.  But, I lined up and started anyway.

For the second time in three days of racing, the rider in front of me couldn't clip in and I found my 2nd line start position turn into "now I need to pass 43 riders to get to the front" position.  Nonetheless, I did that and began what I knew would be a shortened version of day 3.  I went to the front several times in the next few laps, pushing the pace, stringing out the field, trying to drop riders.  I would get swarmed, hit the back, rest a bit, go back to the front and do it again.  I did that until I couldn't do it anymore, and then I pulled myself out.  It was an unfortunate decision, but the only one I could make that made sense.  I could have sat in for another 13 laps - done nothing - sprinted for 20th.  But, why?  Why do that when I could do something for the team and feel decent about that, at least?  So... that's what I did.

In the end, I'm lucky.  The crash has left me achey and bruised, but that's it.  Bike is fine, I am fine, my teammate Gabby has some cute road rash, but is also fine.  But, I'm also disappointed.  I had bigger hopes for this past weekend, and they were quickly dashed in that 1st corner.

Alas - this is bike racing... and it doesn't always go well.

I'll be back to fight another day - this Sunday, actually... and hopefully things will resume their positive programming!

Most important - I do have proof of my work on Sunday, thanks to Jeff Bowers' lovely camera work!

The Email That Finally Arrived...

Some people know that I've been doing this cycling thing for a while now.  About 10 seasons of racing, with what I feel is a quite a bit of success for someone who started when she was 27.  When I began this journey in cycling, I had a few little goals and a few "big dream" type goals.

Goal #1 - become a Cat 3.  If I could do that, a Cat 2.
Goal #2 - win just one race.
Goal #3 - be a good teammate.
Goal #4 (big-dream style)- should Goal #1 become a reality, it would be a dream come true to line up at the Liberty Classic.
Goal #5 (big dream style) - become a Cat 1.

Goal #1 happened at the tail end of my first year of racing.  I was absolutely thrilled to have had a really good break-out season and was ready to try to make the 2nd half of the goal happen.  I snagged points all through my second year and managed (back when the collection of points had to happen in a 12-month period) to grab a win and my final needed points at the Mount Joy Road Race at the start of my third year, thus getting the last few points I needed to become a 2!

Goal #2 - I've managed to grab a win every season that I've raced.  Even during 2013 when there were moments when I could barely walk due to my back injury - granted, I was the only one IN the race... but, hey... you can't win if you don't show up!!

Goal #3 - I can't really answer this one myself.  But, I *think* that I can safely say that I've been a good teammate 90% of the time.  I'm certain that someone out there can think of at least one moment - and probably several more than one - when I was a crap teammate.  But, mostly... I think I'm good here.

Goal #4 - This Big-Dream goal came true in 2009 when Pat Marzi asked me to guest ride for Salamander.  I was so out of my depth, but I smiled my way up Lemon Hill and enjoyed every second of my day in the sun.  Since then, I've not only had the chance to line up at the Liberty Classic, but I raced it 4 times between 2009 and 2012.  Amazing.

Goal #5 - The elusive one.  For a non-sprinter and a female on a team (this does not necessarily hold true for solo riders), the cards were stacked against me.  It's hard to get enough Cat 1-2 ladies together for points to fall further than 3 or 5, and when they do, I'm usually working for my sprinters.  This has been the case for me for years.  And, please... don't read this the wrong way... I LOVE MY JOB on my teams.  I absolutely ADORE watching my sprinters take it to the line.  I live for trying to get into the break and, if not, drilling the last lap and making sure that it is strung out and fast.  But... loving my job and having a dream of being a Cat 1 - not exactly a match made in heaven.

A friend said to me this week, "FWIW, I thought you got this 3 years ago."  Nope, I've been getting denied for years.  Literally.  I've been denied my Cat 1 upgrade at least three times.  Despite watching many other women apply for and receive their upgrades.  Despite knowing that some of those upgrades were by the book and others were not so much.  Despite detailed explanations from me (and other people) for why I have "earned" it... I've gotten the dreaded, "I'm sorry, your upgrade request has been denied" email.

But, I kept applying.  Kept adding up points, explaining results, requesting an upgrade.  Just last week, I sent in what I swore would be my final attempt at a request.

So, when I saw this in my inbox, my heart stuttered a bit... note that you can't actually see any details about whether or not this thing has been approved or not when it pops up in your list of messages... you just know that the blow has been dealt.

Now to roll the dice, click the link, and see how badly you've been hit....

The following request to change your INTL/Road category has been approved and processed by USA Cycling:
License: INTL Road
Request to change category from Cat 2 to Cat 1

WHAAA?????

APPROVED????

SRSLY????

I'm a Category 1 racer.  WOW.  I truly and honestly never thought I would have the chance to say that.  I sincerely believed that this one would be the one goal that would elude me for the rest of my career.

There are a zillion people who have helped me get to this goal.  Giving a thank you to Mr. Porkchop needs to me mentioned, though it goes without saying!!  And, I know that I can't mention them all... but, I know that the two who deserve the most thanks are my coaches.

George - you got me started in all of this and I can never truly thank you for your guidance and friendship.  You taught me how to train, how to race, and how to sacrifice myself for others.  In this sport, those things are priceless commodities.  Plus, you hooked me up with Coach #2!

Tina - you opened up parts of my cycling that I didn't know I had.  I can actually sprint now!  Well, a little bit.  And, my time trialing has never felt so good.  And, your continued excellence in this sport keeps me striving and your infectious smile and giggle keep me laughing!

Thank you both for believing enough in me to agree to coach me!!

The Post With The Crazy Map

This was my last two weeks.... and yes, that map says 2,251 miles and 36 hours of driving.  Oy.

Here's how it went:

Home to Winston-Salem for Nationals where I bagged a 5th place medal in the crit and a 7th place finish in the TT.  WOOT WOOT.

Winston-Salem to Bethesda for a quick visit with Badger and Jay.

Bethesda back to home for about 36 hours.

Home to Somerville for the oldest bike race in the United States.  Raced hard, almost made a break, chased a lot, and was happy to be with my teammates.

Somerville back home for less than 12 hours.

Home to Scarsdale, NY to meet Emily to head further north.

Scarsdale, NY to Gatineau, Canada for the Grand Prix Cycliste Gatineau UCI road race and time trial.

Gatineau back down to White Plains for the NY State Crit Championships... which we WON with stellar teamwork in the pouring rain.

Photos courtesy of Nin Lei Photography!

White Plains back home to New Jersey and a week of traveling no further than the location of my favorite local rides.

It was a stupendous series of events that I was able to share with the truly wonderful women on my team as well as temporary teammates in Gatineau and my housemates in Winston-Salem.  I can't imagine doing that all summer long like the pros... I've been decompressing for the last two days and find myself just falling asleep in random places... but, it was an awesome experience.

A huge thank you to all who made it possible and especially to Mr. Porkchop... I cannot express in words or in deeds how grateful I am to have him by my side.  I'm one stupidly lucky Porkchop.

Oh, and if all that wasn't enough... there's this to be found and purchased in Canada:

For full race reports of the events above, check out the team website....

Up next, one of my favorites.... The Historic Riverton Criterium!

Masters Nationals

So... my trek towards Masters Nationals is now over.  It was a long time coming, but once it happened, it was a whirlwind.  An awesome, fantastic, really fun whirlwind!

I stayed with a couple of the lovely ABRT ladies in a charming little house very close to downtown.  It put us within riding distance of the crit course, a very short drive to the road course, and a 45 minute jaunt out of town to the TT course.

I got into town late Monday night and didn't have to race until Thursday.  This gave me time to watch some of the other races, get a few rides in, and... of course, preview the TT course.  When I did that, I managed to run into none other than Kristin Armstrong - who gave me some advice about the race!  She was unbelievably nice and helpful and was really happy to chat for a bit before she took to the road to check out the course herself.

My first race was the crit on Thursday.  I skipped the Road Race, thinking that three races back to back to back might make it too difficult to do the TT.  If I go back next year (yes, please, Mr. Porkchop???), I think I'll do all three.  Why not?  It's just such a great experience and doing them all would be fun!

The crit course was changed at the last minute.  I'll be honest, I thought the new course looked wonderful and a lot better than the original.  It went from a three corner triangular course to a highly technical twisty course with some nice features.

I got all pinned up and, with the support of Fluffy Unicorn, was ready to rock.

 The race was fast and active - with a lot of attacks and a lot of speed.  No one was willing to watch anything go up the road more than just a few meters, though we all gave it at least one good try.  In the end, a late attack looked dangerous and capable of hanging off the front just a bit.  Mary Breed from NCVC went to the front and drilled it for the last lap and a half.  She caught the rider off the front and continued the run in to the line - taking the top step of the podium.  I positioned myself well and, in the end, managed to sprint past a few riders to take 5th on the day and a step of the podium myself!  A PODIUM!!  At Nationals?!?!?  In the CRIT????  Who'd'a thunk it!??!

 It must have been the good luck kiss from Fluffy!!

 Friday was the TT.  The course was HARD.  Eleven climbs in each direction for a total of 22 climbs in 20 miles.  OUCH.  The steepest was about 6% - and there were maybe 4-5 of those.  The rest were long draggers of 1-3%.  On top of the really tough course, it was HOT.  Stupid hot.  Melt your brain inside your alien helmet hot.  Ugh.

As per usual... I gave it my all... it wasn't quite enough for the podium - as I finished in 7th on the day.  But, man... those women were FAST.  I was so impressed by the incredible competitors in the TT.  They had me in absolute awe. 

Long story very short... I came home with a beautiful medal and a smile on my face that just won't quit.  I'm proud of myself and I know that my amazing family, friends, teammates, and coach are proud of me, too. I'm ready to take the momentum from Nationals and keep churning away at the year of racing.  There's a lot in front of us (it's not even JUNE!!), and I'm thrilled to get back out there with my phenomenal teammates.

See you next year, Winston-Salem.

Home Field Advantage

Greentree... how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways...

As of yesterday, I've managed to take the win at Greentree a total of 4 times.  I don't get to win a lot in my cycling career - I'm usually yelling at my sprinter to go from mid-pack as they cross the finish line ahead.  But, for some reason... when I race at Greentree... I just feel like it's MY place to race.  Like it's MY course to win on... like I've got home field advantage there.  And, who knows... maybe I do?

Wilmington wasn't so great... but, I knew that it was going to be a huge challenge.  So, I'm not really surprised, nor am I going to dwell on a rough day of racing.  I got my frustration out there and then turned my sights to racing for the NJ Masters State Crit jersey on Sunday.

The race was not greatly attended, unfortunately.  But, Deborah, Andy, and I made up a strong team of three (two from NJ with the chance to take the podium), and had a goal of winning another championship for the team.  Also lining up with us was Caryl Gale, Betty Tyrell, Robin Wahl, Denise Matheny, and Tina Pic.  Yeah, you read that right.  Tina came out to have some fun with us and ride bikes in circles.

Things went pretty much according to plan.  I launched an attack and got away briefly.  Deborah launched an attack and got away briefly.  Andy launched an attack and got away briefly.  All of these attacks were chased down by our biggest competition, Caryl.  With very little additional firepower with her in the field, she was definitely fighting a difficult battle... but also showed her unbelievable strength by chasing breaks again and again.  She's really a powerhouse!

After Caryl chased Andy down, I saw the chance to counterattack and launched again.  This time, getting some solid daylight and putting all of my chips down on making it stick. Looking back through some of the corners, I saw that the field wasn't far behind - with Caryl still at the front making the chase.  But, I just kept at it - pushing hard through the headwind and up the hill and resting a bit when I had a brief downhill/tailwind section.  Soon, the men's field came around us.  I took advantage of that to try to up my pace a bit - thinking that it may have caused a bit of disorder in the chase. It seemed to work because when I looked back again, I couldn't see any bright orange helmets of the chasing field.

I was away for about 9 laps total to take the win and the jersey for Team EPS/CSS p/b Shebell and Shebell!

Deborah and Tina sprinted to the line for 2nd and 3rd, with Caryl close behind in 4th overall and 2nd in the state and Andy following her for 5th overall and 3rd in the state.  We were really happy with a 1-2 finish overall and two steps of the State Championship podium.

Tina, Deborah and I jumped into the Men's 45+ after that and spent another hour riding in circles!!  All in all, it was a great day and a really fun event.

Next up - Nationals!  I can't believe it's finally here.  I've been training so hard and racing so hard.  Now, I just have to get out there and give it all I've got.  Fingers crossed - and... not to worry... Fluffy Unicorn is coming with me to give you all the play by play!  :)

It's All Paying Off...

While my ultimate goal for this year is to set my feet upon the podium at Nationals, I can honestly say that as of right now, I'm so happy to know that all of the hard work I've put in over the last several months is paying off.  

The last couple of weekends found us racing at the Navy Yard, the Pedricktown Road Race, and the BLP at Greentree.

Things as a team are really coming together and we're solidifying our tactics a little more each time we race as a group.  It's amazing to be on a team with so many women willing to sacrifice themselves for one another.  No one is THE designated rider on this team.  We are all able to do well in races in different ways - some of us can sprint, some of us can ride the break, some of us just diesel engine at the front of the race to pull back dangerous moves or charge toward the finish for our sprinters.  And, I've yet to hear someone say, "I can't" or even unreasonably, "I won't" do that.  Instead, what I hear on a weekly basis is, "What can I do to get us a podium or win today?"  It's awesome.

And, we've been getting podiums and wins!  Which is even more awesome.

Navy Yard was a stacked field and we knew that the finish was going to be tricky as it was a REALLY long sprint.  The Femmes got a rider off the front with one to go.  I went to the front to chase her down and got the peloton within striking distance.  She was able to hold the lead to the line, and we finished strong in 5th and 7th.  Not bad for a tough race that shredded a field of 30 to 17 before the sprint.

Pedricktown was a race for me.  YAY and scary!  I always get most nervous when I think I can get away or (on those VERY rare occasions) win a race.  I never get nervous about leading out my sprinters... I love to watch them fly to the finish!!

With a crew from ABRT and H&H, Pedricktown was destined to be a breakaway day.  And, after a few thwarted attempts, we finally established the break of the day with me, Lauren, and Ainhoa.  I knew that I was outgunned for the sprint, so I tried to make a move late in the race, but to no avail. Still, to stand on the 3rd step alongside those two amazing riders made for an excellent day.

A rainy morning greeted us for the BLP at Greentree.  The field was mostly Cat 3/4 riders, other than Meredith and I, but these gals are no slouches... one has been winning every Cat 4 Time Trial in the Cup series, and I've seen some of the others sprint and know that if it came down to that, we'd definitely have our work cut out for us.  And, you know me... I didn't want it to come down to that.

Meredith and I launched from the line, hoping to get a 2-woman break from the start and just team time trial the 22 laps of the race.  But, it wasn't to be and we were pulled back in in about a lap.  Tactic reset, we decided that we would launch single attacks to wear down the chasers and then try the double attack again.  But, when I launched our first attack, I got a solid gap.  A rider from Houlihan-Lokey came across the space and we worked together for a few laps.  But, I decided to go it alone, and attacked up the small climb to establish a solo break with 14 to go.  I put on my time trial hat and rode steady and hard until I saw the back end of the peloton in front of me!  I'd lapped the field!  WOOT!  

There was some confusion with the officials and the peloton, which caused some riders to miss that they were given the bell with me.  Needless to say, some riders didn't sprint for the finish - leaving us with 1st and 5th on the day.  

I'm just so happy to have brought home two podium finishes in the last two weeks and to get another win at Greentree.  That's the 3rd time that I've won on that course, and I really love racing and training there.  

As always, a HUGE thank you to my amazing Team EPS/CSS p/b Shebell and Shebell ladies for their support and for their belief in what we do each weekend.  And, of course, to our amazing sponsors who make it all possible.  We're lucky to be able to do this each weekend, and we could not do it without them!

Up next - racing with the big girls at the Wilmington Gran Prix!  YIKES!  It's my first pro race of the year.  I'm nervous and excited and ready to rock.  It's a REALLY hard course with a stacked field, so it will be mostly about hanging in and feeling good.  But, I'm ready.  Definitely ready.

The Race That Makes Me All Fidgety

For whatever reason... and, honestly, I can't explain why... Lower Providence has always been a race that makes my anxiety level rise.  I think it's a combination of it being early in the year, always fast, sometimes sketchy, and never easy. So, I could cough it up to early season jitters, but I swear that there's just something about it.

This year, I think that I was extra nervous and excited because we had a strong contingent of teammates going in and a strong field with which to contend.  We're still getting our team tactics under our belts, but things are already going so very well.  This team is solid together and we really have great communication on and off the bike.

So, as expected, the race started out fast and furious.  There were a few attacks launched, but the field was very attentive and nothing was getting very far up the road before being pulled back.  Normally, this race has quite a few primes, which give opportunities for counter attacks.  This year, there was only one - and with 9 laps to go, it was simply too early in the race to make a move for the break.  So, it came down to a field sprint.

There were a few sketchy moments in the race - especially early on as some riders were jockeying for position on lap 2.  I have no idea who it was, and thank goodness for our early season bumping drills, but someone tried to squeeze between me and another rider and all I felt was her hands on the back of my arm.  I was like, "SRSLY?  It's the 2nd lap of the race and you're trying to put yourself where you simply don't fit.  WHY?"  Sometimes you just need to remember to stay calm and be smart.  A race is not won in the corners - so making silly moves there is not worth it.  And, it's not won in the 2nd lap because you wiggled your way in between two riders mid-pack.  THINK before you decide to try to push your way around a field.  Is it really worth it right at this moment?  A little argy bargy in a sprint is understandable and it happens (though it's also easy to avoid!), but not on the 2nd lap of a 19 lap race.  Come on...

All in all, we raced well.  We launched attacks, covered everything else that moved, and lined up nicely for the sprint.  Though our train at the end got slightly derailed by an attack between turns 2-3, we still managed to reposition well for the final corner and straight and take 3rd and 4th on the day.

 Riding hard with the stellar Laura Van Gilder on my wheel.  I think it was like her 7th race of the day or something!  Beast!

The team lined up and ready for the last lap and the final sprint.  Rachel Rubino from Level 11 is a wicked strong rider and a solid wheel in the pack - I'm loving having her out there in these races!

Up next is the always windy and always fun Navy Yard Criterium on Saturday and the Pedricktown Road Race on Sunday.