Intolerance and The Art of Letting Go

In the age of social media, you often find out more about what is on the mind of your friends than you ever thought possible.  In fact, in most cases, you learn more than you ever wanted.  You find out about their quirks (in odd and sometimes uncomfortable ways), you discover their likes and dislikes, and you uncover the limits of their tolerance for others.

I, personally, find intolerance intolerable.  Yep, I completely see the hypocrisy of that statement.  But, it's true.  The more I learn about people, the more I realize that intolerance is a sickness from which many of us desperately need a vaccination.  And, I admit it... I am intolerant of intolerance.  I find the blatant hatred of different groups, cultures, religions, political parties, or other "differences" appalling.  Don't get me wrong... I dislike some people.  But, I tend to dislike them due to their personal actions, not because they're part of some grouping that has been socio-culturally created.

Recent interactions with those whose intolerance is ignited by things like skin color, religious denomination, or what side of my head I choose to part my hair (by the way, if you don't part on the right, you're WRONG!), has opened my eyes.  I'm desperately working on my own intolerance.

My intolerance to those who drive like idiots.
My intolerance to those who always put themselves above everyone else.
My intolerance of annoying commercials.
My intolerance of the news media.
My intolerance of intolerance.

As Gandhi once said, "Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding."

I would bet that Gandhi was also intolerant of intolerance.  And, I bet he struggled with it as we all do.

I suppose that it's all part of the Art of Letting Go.

I know that I've just quoted Gandhi, so quoting the woman who wrote "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul" might seem like a downshift.  However, I think that this statement has tons of validity and truth to it... "Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore.  It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself."

I'm trying to listen to advice from a very good friend about letting go.  It's such a hard thing to do, and I'm realizing that my personality is such that I am always trying to "fix" things that are going wrong...even if the attempt is futile and the thing really isn't worth fixing.  I've done this for a long time, and I'm always disappointed when I can't fix what I see as broken.

Through talking with her, I've realized that I've been trying to fix the wrong thing.  I cannot fix others.  I cannot make people more tolerant.  I cannot make them realize that they are headed down the wrong path.  I cannot make them see things my way if they absolutely refuse.  I cannot help them if they're happy in the situation that they have chosen.  All I CAN do is look at myself, realize that I am unhappy with the current status quo, and get myself out of it.  All I can control is ME.

So, here you have it.  My July 4th resolutions... Cultivate Tolerance and Practice the Art of Letting Go.

Wish me luck.