Thursday, March 29, 2012

Photos from Mexico


Just a few photos from the trip to Mexico.  It was, once again, a wonderful experience with great folks.  









 PIGS!!!!




 Little Tiger Boy was chasing a lizard that wandered into his cage.  So cute!!











Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Quick Recap

So, I spent part of last week and weekend in Asheville, North Carolina.  I was presenting the first part of my first chapter at a conference and, between sessions, having a love-hate affair with the nearby mountain climbs on my bike.  It was fantastic.  Mari and I had several mountain top "meetings" and enjoyed the heck out of the beautiful weather and scenery.  And, the conference was amazing also!  Lots of tremendous talks and very smart people.

We got to take a side-trip to the Biltmore Estate, which was astounding.  I am already planning a return trip to the area - I'm hoping to convince my mom and Aunt Linda to meet me down there for some family fun!  What do you say, ladies?!  :)

I'm still photographically backed up - I haven't posted my pics from Mexico, nor do I have any shots from this trip ready to post, but I'm a-workin' on it.  It's not as if I've been slacking off...I've just been catching up with everything else!

Soon.

This weekend should be an epic Wasabi colored couple of days as the girls descend upon Casa Choppah for a team dinner on Saturday night and the first team race of the year on Sunday.  I'm very excited to get out there with the team and see what 2012 has in store.  :)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Why Aren't You Racing Yet?!

This is one of the most common questions that I have been getting recently from my cycling friends.  That or, "When is your first race?"  I sometimes want to say to them, "You do know how loooooong the race season is, right?!"  Or, "You do know that it's only March...right?"

While I would never in a million, gazillion, brazilian years, complain about the weather that we have had this year (my windows are currently wide open and I spent 90% of the day outside), it does play a bit of havoc on the mind of a cyclist.  Since we never really had a "winter," many people never really stopped riding and training.  Because of this, they are super-duper gung ho to get the race season underway.  I, however, with my particular sights set on specific events, am a little more content to slowly dip my toes into the water rather than disrupting the pool with a giant belly flop!  


For those who still want an answer to the title question...I think that you're likely to see me kitted up at a start line for the first weekend in April.  I'm not saying WHERE you might see me, but I have my sights set upon a little race or two in the near future.  ;)

For now...I'm setting my sights on the uphill Power Test that my loving slave driver coach has in mind for me this week while I am in North Carolina.  Why is it that I am more nervous about the power test than about presenting my chapter at the NCSA conference?!  ;)  

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Insanity Sets In

You know that you've lost it when having nothing to do for two minutes sends you panicking to find something to do.  All work and no play makes the Porkchop a loony!  All work and no play makes the Porkchop a loony!

It has been a whirlwind since before Spring Break.  The day before was the departmental bus trip to DC.  It was a lot of fun!  It was a beautiful day, spent with beautiful people (Lemmings and Rambas), and it was a nice way to enter into the break.  But, it was also long and exhausting.  And, I had to be at the airport at 5:45 the next morning to head to Mexico!  With students!!

The calls started coming at 4:15am.  That was nothing - David was getting text messages starting a 1am!  I feared the worst.  But, I got some of the best.  The trip was awesome.  Nearly flawless, the students were fantastically fun and energetic.  The new events on the schedule were really great (visiting a working Hacienda was a cool experience), and the last day of sun in Cancun was actually relaxing (no Bros to speak of).

Of course, after getting back to reality...well, reality sets in.  I spent several extra hours at work Monday night in a Union meeting during which we decided to reject a contract offer but NOT go on strike.  It was a bit like an election where you are forced to vote for the lesser of several evils.  But, I admit that I am happy to be in the classroom rather than on a picket line.  I'm thrilled to get to finish out the semester is style and to stay on track with my classes.

The weather cooperated this week to allow me to eek out some nice training rides outside.  YAY!  When not at work or on my bike I have been uber domesticated - Spring cleaning the house, completing every speck of laundry, and making sure that Chuck and I have nothing to do this weekend except hang out together (something terribly lacking of late!).

Next week, I am off to Asheville to present my first chapter at the Nineteenth Century Studies Association conference.  I am very excited about it and looking forward to dragging my bike with me to ride up the Blue Ridge Mountains!  2,500 feet of elevation...here I come!

I will be posting photos from Mexico soon - keep an eye on the flickr site for updates.  I've already posted some Wyoming photos there, so check those out, too!  More news about my next photo show in the next blog post!  :)

Monday, February 27, 2012

New Bike Appreciation

So, I've now had the chance to spend some quality time with Mari and her compact gearing.

We went out Saturday morning in a snow storm (what were we thinking??).  Thanks to Amanda at Java's for taking this shot...


It started out pretty miserably, with driving snow and near white out visibility...my glasses were all covered with wet snow, but taking them off sent giant wet snowflakes careening into my eyeballs.  It was a lose-lose situation that caused a few folks to (rightfully) turn back a few miles in.  Fearing the perpetual teasing of a few guys, I decided to stick it out.  This is very unlike me, as I am typically a complete wimp when it comes to cold, wet weather.  Still, quite surprisingly, it wound up being a beautiful day (once the snow stopped and the sun came out).  Other than some pretty powerful wind gusts during the sprint section, it was a pleasant day in the saddle.

Sunday included a 3-hour jaunt on the rolling roads of the Bethesda area.  It was a truly gorgeous day (no snow and very little wind) and spending it with the Badger, BChan, Nikki and SaraB was awesome.  Any time spent with my teammates is really important quality time and this ride was no exception.  Not to mention that Badger made us some really fantastic lemon pancakes before the ride!  :)  Mmmmmmm....PAMCAKES!!!















I am still struggling a bit with the compact gearing.  It's very strange to me - and I admit that I am having trouble getting the gearing "right."  I am used to spending most of a ride in the little ring.  Switching to the big ring only when absolutely necessary, and trying to spin a lot in the small ring.  You CAN'T do that with a compact.  There's a LOT of gearing that goes on and a lot of movement from big to small ring.  This is taking some getting used to!  Still, I like having the extra gears to spin up a hill.  If only it made me a BETTER climber, rather than just making spinning easier!  :)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

New Music Appreciation

My dad and I share music.  Sometimes, we introduce one another to interesting new things that we both enjoy.  Other times, I try to get him to listen to things like Biffy Clyro and he's less than impressed!  ;)  Recently, I've been having New Music Appreciation with a few friends...they have introduced me to some wickedly awesome stuff that has been on repeat in my house for the past couple of days.  If these were records (and, by records, of course, I mean actual vinyl), they would be wearing out already!

So...in the hopes of spreading musical joy to the few folks out there who read this stuff. Thanks to "Incline" and "Badger" for expanding my musical vocabulary!  Enjoy...








Monday, February 20, 2012

Realism vs. Optimism

I want to be an optimist.  Really, I do.  But, the fact is, I'm a Realist.  I know my limitations.  I know my abilities.  I know what I am capable of.  And, I know that I am ALWAYS capable of a little more than I think.

It's that time of the year again...the time when racing is just around the corner.  When I'm wondering if I've worked hard enough over the winter months to have a good season.  The time when, in all honesty, I'm taking a peek at my legs now and again to make sure that the muscles are still there!

I take a lot of inspiration from my team.  Knowing that they are counting on me early in the season to drive the pace, launch attacks, cover moves, and be there to start the lead out train at the end of a grueling early-season crit makes me hop on the bike when my body is telling me to sit on the couch and eat bon-bons.  After all, I'm no twenty-something whipper-snapper anymore.  More often than not, my body yells at me about the suffering...but, in the words of Jens Voigt I say, "shut up legs..." and I just keep going.


I take a lot of inspiration from the cycling world.  Updates on new teams and rosters, new races, and race results keep me training and racing...setting my own, personal goals...doing everything I can to meet team goals...and knowing that I am part of an amazing sport.  




So, you tell me...are you a Realist, an Optimist, or a Voigtist?  The last one simply means that you defy all notions of reality and make things happen by sheer will, determination, and brute force!  Ohh, Jensy!  :)  

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Time Flies

When you've got 30 million things to do!

Between applying for more fellowships and NEH seminars, writing my dissertation, finalizing my chapter for presentation at the NCSA conference, prepping students for another year of travel to Mexico, grading exams and papers, training, sleeping, eating, and watching the occasional episode of Being Human (both BBC and American versions!), I'm wondering why someone out there hasn't come up with a time traveling device yet.  Maybe I can get my hands on Hermione's Time Turner??  That might help.  Then again, if I had more time, I'd likely use it to enjoy the "down time" of life (read as: watch more Being Human).  Still...maybe I would find myself being even more productive.  Yeah, right...sure.

If someone has come up with a way to slow, stop, deter, or otherwise sidetrack time for a bit, please let me know.  Or, if you've found a proper way to clone yourself in order to bring a new meaning to the idea of multi-tasking, send me that formula straight away.

All right...back to constructing an essay about why I should spend 10 days studying in Hawaii this summer!

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Introducing...Mari.

I parted with a dear friend this past week.  Falco.  My trusty Tarmac steed, who led me to triumph in my 2nd, 3rd, and 4th seasons of racing.  My adorable blue friend who loved descending and hugging the turns.  He was a truly amazing first real racing bike and I'm so glad that I was introduced to Specialized bikes because of him.  I hope that Falco goes on to a good home and helps someone else win some serious races!!  His departure is due, primarily, to the arrival of a new girl in the stable.

I have been waiting a few years to ride the new Specialized Amira.  And, this spring, as we put our noses to the grindstone to get our bodies in top shape for the season, the crew at Twenty20 Cycling in Baltimore are hard at work helping us get our gear in order.  They are fundamentally critical to helping us make sure that our gears are shifting smoothly, that our fit is right, and that we have pristine working equipment.  This year is no exception as they help each of us build up our new framesets!!


I was fortunate enough to take my Amira (her name is Mari) out for her maiden voyage yesterday.  I was told by Kris that I would never want to ride another bike...and he was RIGHT!  The frame fits me like a GLOVE (thank you, Kris, for working with me the other night to dial her in!), and the extremely light and stiff frame is responsive.  I tend to personify my bikes (giving them names and personalities - like Bernie, who loves to lead the charge at the end of races), but in this case, it literally felt like Mari WANTED to do what I asked.  When I stood up to sprint or climb, she answered smoothly, quickly, and eagerly.  She is comfortable, fast, crisp, and an amazing ride.

THANK YOU, SPECIALIZED for your continued support of Team CAWES!


 And, did I mention that she's beautiful?!  ;)  I think I'm in love!  

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Dinner Discussion


What do a bike dork and her husband talk about over dinner?  Rearranging the Training Center for optimal performance, of course!!

See, recently, I had some friends over to torture...er...train in the center.  Since my typical entertainment is provided by a tiny 13 inch TV/DVD combo in the far corner of the room, I decided to amp things up a bit and pull out the projector and big screen!  It was GREAT!  Unfortunately, now I am hooked and want this temporary set up to be permanent.  So, we spent the evening "drawing" out plans on the dinner table and exhaustively imagining the space with furniture rearranged and big screen affixed to the wall.

I think that our plan is complete.  On the "To-Do" list today is to measure some things and make sure that our plan will work.  :)  I'm going to have the wicked-est Training Center this side of Dave Zabriskie's garage.  Awww, yeah!

Friday, January 20, 2012

I'm Still Here

Well...mostly.

I've been so busy since returning from Wyoming.  I got back and jumped right into prepping for classes and revising my dissertation chapter.  Both things are going amazingly well and I'm planning to have the chapter in my advisor's hands by Saturday!  That way, I can enjoy the evening with my teammates without thinking about what I *should* be doing!  :)

Even though I have been insanely busy, I am also pretty insanely content.  The visit out west was fantastic.  I completely understand how my family fell in love with Sheridan and the Big Horns.  I would LOVE to move out there - if anyone knows of a well-paying job for an art historian in Sheridan or its surrounding areas, let me know!  ;)

I did some major bonding with Eloise...which was incredible.  She is a pretty amazing little person and hearing her scream "SAWAH" every time I call now is pretty sweet.  It means so much to me that I got to spend so much time with her and I hope that it happens over and over.


So...a few more photos from the trip for you to check out.  I'm putting together a book and will be having another show at Still Waters this late winter/spring, so...come out and buy some of these things, already!!  ;)









Saturday, December 31, 2011

Wyoming in Photos

Just a few photos from the early days of my visit out west!!




Sunday, December 25, 2011

Happy Christmas

I hope that everyone has a beautiful Christmas full of happiness and joy, friends and family, food and fun! May you find your stockings full of the good things in life today and all through the year.


Thursday, December 22, 2011

Resolutions...

As the end of the year approaches, I've been bugging my teammates to come up with New Year's Resolutions.  It's not going well.  I understand that...resolutions kind of suck.  I mean, you make a promise to yourself, that you know you're unlikely to keep, and then you end up forgetting what it was that you promised by the end of January anyway.

I've kept one resolution in my life - it was the year that I swore I wouldn't go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.  It worked - I never got lazy and said...oh, I'll just do those tomorrow!!

This year, I'm thinking that the following are some good choices:

1.  Swear less - I'm thinking that putting $$ into a Swear Jar might be a good way to stop this - and I can probably save enough in one year to fund my second resolution.


2.  Travel to Europe - I've wanted to travel around for years - assuming that I don't get the Fellowship that I applied for, my Swear Jar funds should be sufficient by January of 2013 to easily pay for a flight overseas!



3.  Care Less - Allow me to explain.  I've realized lately that there are people whose outlook on life and what's important is radically different from mine.  I'd always thought that I was surrounding myself with people who were similar to me.  This isn't the case.  And, it's not a bad thing, necessarily.  But, what is a bad thing is me caring so much about what they think or say.  In other words, I have to stop letting negativity affect me.  I shall be just like Charlie the Penguin and let it roll right off my back...


So, that's it.  I think that I am setting some pretty tough resolutions for myself - but, I also think that they are doable.  And...I can't wait to start putting money in my swear jar...shit, I think I'll start right now!  ;)

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Who Would You Invite?

OK - in the spirit of Christmas wishes...here is a list of 10 living people that I would invite to Holiday Dinner.  I should note that regardless of how much of a jerk-wad these folks might be in real life, they would be well-behaved, loquacious, and friendly at my dinner party!!

The Blogess - she's just waaay too awesome to not invite.  Plus, her blog post inspired this blog post...it's the least that I can do!

Haruki Murakami - I'd probably have to invite an interpreter - but I'm just going to count them as one person.

Bernie Eisel - he rides a bike (very fast) and is a lover of art and literature...how could I NOT invite him?

Jasper Johns - he is one of my favorite artists and one of the last surviving members of the Abstract Expressionist movement.

John Cleese - there must be some humor at the event...other than my crappy jokes.

The Edge - he just seems like a very intriguing individual...

Michelle Obama - she's hip, she's classy, she's awesome!

Simon Tofield - we're the crazy cat people...he simply MUST get an invitation!!

Mary T. Meagher - one of the most amazing butterflyers of all time.

Matthew Gray Gubler - he just rocks...

That's it.  Okay, so, who is bringing the dip?

Friday, December 16, 2011

Team of the Year!

I am so proud to post this!!!


I am so proud of my friends and teammates.  
The last two years have been so incredibly fantastic and I can't wait for many more to come!  

Thanks to all of our sponsors, friends, families, and (dare I say it?) fans who made 2011 an amazing year.  I hope you're all sticking around to see what the Wasabi Warriors accomplish in 2012!!

RAWR!!!


Monday, December 12, 2011

Go Forth and Grade

A dear friend sent this to me in the post today.  Hehe...I warned him that this was not likely to end well.  I can't decide if the first should go to him for being such a sweet Englishman or to Chuck for today's thorough cleaning of the bathroom...decisions, decisions....


Just a sample of one page - I thought that most of you would be most intrigued by how one might grade a lover...rather than how one might grade their boss...


Saturday, December 10, 2011

Belief

Many people remember, or at least talk about, the moment when they realized that there wasn't a Santa Claus.  I mean, it's a fundamental element of childhood - believing in things like the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the Tooth Fairy.  And, then...we get to that point where we are all grown up and things like that seem clearly unrealistic.

I have a different memory.  I have the memory of the time when I truly believed that Santa existed.  I mean, with these events in my memory, how could he not?

Growing up, we had an interesting relationship with Santa and the Christmas holiday.  In all of my years growing up, I only remember once or twice actually waking up on December 25th and having Christmas ON Christmas morning.  It may have happened more often than that, but I don't really remember.  We typically traveled to Cincinnati to visit family on Christmas, so we tended to celebrate the actual present-opening part of the holiday on a different day.  As you can imagine, this made things a tad difficult for my parents, who wanted their children to believe in Santa.  But, how do you explain why Santa doesn't come to our house on the 25th??

So, we grew up knowing that my parents had a good deal with the big, red guy.  He was more than happy to visit our house on a day other than the 25th!  We were very lucky.  Sometimes, we would come home from school to gifts under the tree.  Sometimes, we would wake up on the 22nd and TA-DA!  Christmas!  But, there was one particular year that I will NEVER forget.

It was a Sunday morning just a few days before Christmas and we were leaving later that day or the next morning (that bit of the story is a blur) and we hadn't had Christmas yet.  I was getting nervous.  I was afraid that Santa had forgotten our deal or that he was too busy to get to our house BEFORE Christmas and we were going to have to wait until we got back from Cincinnati to have our holiday.

We had gone to church that morning.  I remember saying to my mom on the way there that maybe, just maybe, Santa would come while we were at church.  I mean, that was more than an hour - that was PLENTY of time for him to get the job done, right?  My mom told me that it was unlikely, but wouldn't that be nice.  I sat through the entire service thinking about this.  OK, I admit it, I think that I was pouting.  I was pretty young and wanted to have Christmas!!  But, my mom just kept telling me that there was no way it would happen.

When we got home from church...I slowly plodded into the house.  Everything looked normal at first glance and then, I realized...SANTA HAD COME!!  The tree was lit, there were beautifully wrapped gifts under it's branches - each topped with a brightly colored bow.

Now, by this time, I think that I was old enough to begin to question the existence of the big guy...and had begun to suspect my parents of impersonation.  But, they had been with me at church.  So, CLEARLY, they couldn't be Santa!!  Right?

It was then that I truly believed.  The big guy does exist.  Just so you all know.

Monday, December 05, 2011

YAY for Modern American Art!!

Last year, my favorite course to teach, got canceled.  I was so bummed.  It was a truly sad day and I think that I even cried at little bit.  It's my Modern American Art class.  This course was gently placed into my then-incapable hands by my mentor Madeleine Cohen.  She entrusted this course to me when she was ill and unable to teach and I stumbled through it for the first couple of semesters.  It was hard.  It was a tough change from the standard survey course...and I'm talking about teaching it!!

But, within a few years, I had my rhythm.  I had made the course mine and was going along pretty well with relatively full classes and excited students.  And then, in 2011, the unthinkable happened.  The course was under enrolled and it was canceled.  I was devastated.  But, there was nothing that I could do...the students weren't there to take it...

But, this year, it's back!!  I'm very excited that I have a nice crew of students (quite a few of whom are currently taking a class with me) and I'm really looking forward to the semester!  I have a bit of work in front of me...between now and January...to get all of my materials ready.  But, I will do it with a huge grin and much excitement...

It's going to be a GREAT Spring semester!

And the positive mojo continues to flow....

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Training Center Update

So, the training center has been slowly coming around since the initial whirlwind of construction began.  Once we got it up and running, the finishing details have been a bit slower in coming along.  Part of it is that I want to make sure that I make the right choices about things like floor finishing (do we get a big indoor/outdoor rug, do we paint/epoxy, do we get those rubber gym mats...oh, the choices!!).  But, the important thing is that the room is totally functional as is...even if it is not the most beautiful space (note, the abhorrent oil stain on the floor...sigh).  Hector and Chuck put on the baseboards the other day, and they look great!!  One of these days, we'll get the rest of it in proper order.


But, I've been working on the aesthetics a bit lately.  As you will note in the above photo, there are some collages and such hanging above my work bench.  I've put up my wicked awesome pendulum clock (I will take a post a photo ASAP) that's made of bike cogs and chains...and I've hung up my Irish flag in honor of U2 and Nicholas Roche on the north wall.

Finally, most recently, I completed the curtain for the window.  I found the best fabric online...it has citron colored bikes on it!!  :)  And, yesterday, I sewed up a curtain for the window!  It's very cute and I like the idea that folks can't just look in the front window anymore.  Yep...the training center is certainly coming around...



While I hate snow, I have to admit that I'm looking forward to that inevitable winter day when the center is full of my spandex-clad friends on trainers and rollers, watching the Tour (on a larger TV, I hope!!), playing Ms. Pac-Man between intervals, and enjoying this awesome space.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Quin...that's NOT how you steam a mouse...

So, our small grey kitteh has become the rodent clean-up man for the neighborhood.  He comes home in the morning with mice, shrews, and even a decent sized rat one day.  Not sure where he gets these, but I think it's the unoccupied place across the street.

Anywho...he strolled up to the front door this morning with a small mouse neatly held in his mouth.  I was like, "Hey, buddy...there ain't no WAY you're bringing that thing in here."  So, he took it to the flower bed and proceeded to start playing.  The playing continued into the driveway just in front of my car.  He was having a blast tossing the mouse into the air, batting it around with his paws, tossing it again...rinse and repeat.

Suddenly, I notice that the direction of his attention changed and he was very attracted to the front grill of my car.  Oh no...

Yep - in the joys of his mouse-tossing, he managed to throw the poor little deceased rodent INTO my car.  It had become lodged between the radiator and the front of the car with no means of escape.  I couldn't get it from beneath the car because of the plastic barrier.  I couldn't get it from inside the hood because there's no way to get around the radiator.  My only option was to figure out a way to pull the mouse out through this opening...

Not very promising, eh??  So...I got a wild idea...

I attached some duct tape to an outstretched wire hanger and, like a surgeon playing Operation, I reached down into the space, stuck the duct tape to the mouse, and gently pulled it out!!  Ta-DAAA!!  No more mouse in my car!

Quin, however, keeps looking at the front of my car like it's a mouse-dispensing machine.

Asheville...

Here I come!!

In the first of what I hope to be a series of "Happy News" posts, I woke up this morning to a very awesome email in my inbox.

My Nineteenth Century Studies Association paper abstract has been accepted!!  I will be heading to Asheville, NC this March to present a portion of my first dissertation chapter!

The NCSA is a rather LARGE conference.  I went to this one a few years ago in Miami, FL, where I presented a paper that I had written for class about Children and Cosmopolitanism at the World's Fair in Chicago.  It was fun and it was intimidating.  It was my first major conference experience and I was pretty freaked out.

This time around, I'm sure that I will feel much more confident in my speaking and my writing ability!  Not to mention, I'll be getting some high quality feedback on my dissertation and the whole conference is on Spiritual Matters!  Sweet.

On a side note, I also believe that this is the start of some really good CAWES team mojo.  Well, not really the start....the good mojo started with some new recruits (announcements soon), BChan getting an INCREDIBLE job offer in Baltimore, and now, this.  I have a good feeling about this...

Friday, November 18, 2011

Holy Busy Batman

Well, that title pretty much sums it up...it's been a bit like this lately...


yep...that's what I call a whirlwind!!

I could pull out all of the many great cliches in life:

Life never hands more than you can handle,
Good things come to those who wait,
Patience is a virtue,
When life gives you lemons make lemonade,
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,
Nothing ventured nothing gained,
You have to break a few eggs to make an omelet,
Keep your nose to the grindstone,
Every cloud has a silver lining,
She's burning her candle at both ends,
When the going gets tough the tough get going,
Running around like a chicken with it's head cut off,
or...
Hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut!!  


Not sure what the heck that last one means, but I like it.  All of these are, in fact, true.  However, that is little consolation when you're up to your eyeballs in fellowship applications, dissertation rewrites, exam grading, paper grading, committee work, writing letters of recommendation, and (oh, yeah) LIFE!


I'm now working on turning this...

into this...


Or, perhaps a better visual...
No more this...

Only this...

AWWWW, yeah....

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Thankful

As we head into the Turkey Holiday...that would be the one that occurs in November, but is often overshadowed by the ridiculous commercial exploitation of innocent reindeer, snowmen, and Who's down in Whoville...I'd like to take some time to express my gratitude to some folks and some things.

1.  My Team
    I feel ridiculously lucky to be surrounded by an amazing bunch of women (and their significant others) who share my love for the bike.  These folks have become my family out here in my adopted East Coast home, and I am ever thankful for their friendship, understanding, support, and encouragement.  They basically rock.

2.  My Job and My Colleagues
    I love my job.  I absolutely adore what I get to do every day.  Sure, it gets frustrating.  It definitely gets frustrating...but, that's when my tremendous colleagues step in to make things seem so much better and to make the best suggestions about sprucing up a class, dealing with a problem, etc.  I know that I am fortunate to have a job that I very rarely dread going to.

3.  My Family
    Duh.  They are the bomb.  My family is a truly weird bunch.  We have our issues - for sure - but, I'm grateful that I can consider all of the people in my family my friends.  I know that this is a rare thing, and I am glad that I have it.

4.  My Friends (Near and Far)
    You know who you are.  The folks that I never get to see...I miss you.  Terribly.  It's not fair to love people that are so far away.  But, I'm very thankful that I can pick up the phone (or the Skype) and catch up with you as easily as if we had just had lunch yesterday.  I've always believed that true friendship doesn't come with rules or expectations...just understanding.  Thank you for understanding my quirks and my faults.

5.  My Hubby
    He's a good man.  And, he's damn lucky that he's so cute...it keeps him out of trouble an awful lot.  Are we perfect?  Not even close.  We're so wrong for one another that it makes everything right.  I'm thankful to have him in my life.  I truly believe that he's the ONLY one that could put up with me....for an extended period of time.

So...as we make our way towards the sacred holiday of "Stuffing Your Face," please do what you can to be thankful and to express that gratitude to those who deserve it.

Monday, November 07, 2011

That SAD time of year again...Sigh

A lot of people have come into and out of my life.  Some of those have left indelible marks upon me.  Some of them are still vital and thriving parts of my everyday life.  Others entered through one door only to walk across my existence and leave just as quickly.  In some very fortunate instances, those that I thought were lost have come back to me in some way.  Others never will.

About 17 years ago, my outlook on so many things was changed by the arrival and quick departure of a boy who I will never forget.  So many things in my life have drifted from my recollection...so many things that I can only partially recall or faintly envision.  And yet, Danny's face has been permanently affixed to my memory.  I will never forget that goofy smile that was captured in nearly every photograph of him.  And, though I didn't see it when I was 15, I will always notice the depth of sadness that swam behind his eyes.  Here was a boy who was lost...even before we lost him.

Depression is an incredible thing.  Having only extremely minor symptoms of it around this time of the year, I cannot even fathom the sense of despair that must accompany the full-blown depression that haunted Danny.  My feelings are dispelled by sitting in the sun, or in front of my "Happy Light."  They are pushed away by a goofy gesture from my husband or an email that I have been hopelessly awaiting.  They are made irrelevant by a 3-hour bike ride with precious friends.  They are eventually silenced by the elongation of days and the return of warm weather.

For Danny, there was no end.  There was no way to keep the sense of sadness at bay.  Or, at least, the only solution was one that was truly final.

I don't know that I will ever stop seeing Danny's face.  It seems to be one memory that I can conjure up at will.  One memory that I can call upon at any time.  It's always the face from my favorite photo of him...that grin upon his face, a silly wave, a boy full of hope and life.  That's the only way I want to remember him.